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Back Going Under Save as PDF
Chapters (70)
  1. COVER PAGE
  2. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  3. DEDICATION
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. PART I BIRTH
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EIGHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. PART II LIFE
  22. SIXTEEN
  23. SEVENTEEN
  24. EIGHTEEN
  25. NINETEEN
  26. TWENTY
  27. TWENTY-ONE
  28. TWENTY-TWO
  29. TWENTY-THREE
  30. TWENTY-FOUR
  31. TWENTY-FIVE
  32. TWENTY-SIX
  33. TWENTY-SEVEN
  34. TWENTY-EIGHT
  35. TWENTY-NINE
  36. THIRTY
  37. THIRTY-ONE
  38. THIRTY-TWO
  39. THIRTY-THREE
  40. THIRTY-FOUR
  41. PART III DEATH
  42. THIRTY-FIVE
  43. THIRTY-SIX
  44. THIRTY-SEVEN
  45. THIRTY-EIGHT
  46. THIRTY-NINE
  47. FORTY
  48. FORTY-ONE
  49. FORTY-TWO
  50. FORTY-THREE
  51. FORTY-FOUR
  52. FORTY-FIVE
  53. FORTY-SIX
  54. FORTY-SEVEN
  55. FORTY-EIGHT
  56. FORTY-NINE
  57. FIFTY
  58. FIFTY-ONE
  59. FIFTY-TWO
  60. FIFTY-THREE
  61. FIFTY-FOUR
  62. FIFTY-FIVE
  63. FIFTY-SIX
  64. FIFTY-SEVEN
  65. FIFTY-EIGHT
  66. FIFTY-NINE
  67. SIXTY
  68. EPILOGUE
  69. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  70. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

As I look at him, at his warm eyes and tall frame and slightly flirtatious smile, I remember the old Kitty from years before, when life was a lot easier. Maybe a night out with Lucas Lang and the other heart guys will take my mind off things. Cardiothoracic surgeons have a reputation for being massive egomaniacs. Because they operate on the organ that pumps our life’s blood through our bodies, they tend to consider themselves superior to all other doctors, so there’s always plenty of testosterone, as well as oxygen, floating around. Lucas is the surgical opposite of Dr Prince. Surely this is safe.

‘So you’ll come to the dinner, right?’ he says.

‘Okay.’

He looks pleased. ‘Great, I’ll email you the details.’

It will be good for my career, I tell myself as I avoid the glares of the people sitting in the waiting room. Cardiothoracics isn’t such a bad idea, really. Plus, as hot as Lucas is, he’s resting safely on a pedestal way above my position under the stairs, so it will be a nice safe environment for me to expand my surgical networks.

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I go along to the dinner on Friday night not really knowing what to expect. It will probably be pretty dull, I warn myself as I walk into the restaurant. Heart surgeons love crapping on about how many lives they’ve saved, and bitching about how other heart surgeons or, even worse, lowly cardiologists are trying to steal their work. Not to worry, it is Friday after all. I also should be celebrating, I remind myself. My emergency term has finally ended, and I have the entire weekend off. It’s a rare luxury, and I vow to enjoy my freedom before Monday and the return to the operating theatre for another surgical term.

The other real highlight is seeing Lucas Lang in a social setting away from work and, fortuitously, we are sitting opposite each other. I realise almost immediately that cardiothoracic surgery isn’t the career path for me and enthusiastically refill my wineglass as the people around me rave on about Bentalls procedures. The only slightly interesting tidbit of information I hear is in a hushed conversation between Lucas and the guy next to him. I hear him say ‘settlement’ and ‘she’ll take the kids’ and ‘I should just push through it’. I wonder if he’s going through a separation. Okay, big ears, I reprimand myself. That is quite enough.

Lucas is exceptionally professional and loves talking about aortic valve replacements. By the end of the dinner I’m starting to realise he genuinely wants to foster my interest in cardiothoracics.

‘Look,’ I say honestly when he asks me for my thoughts as we all stand around outside the restaurant saying our goodbyes, ‘I don’t know if I want to give up the next ten years of my life training to be a heart surgeon.’