‘You are staying, aren’t you?’ Emily says. ‘Mummy’s been very upset.’

Maddy takes her other hand. ‘Back to bed now.’

‘Don’t leave us again, Daddy.’ Emily starts to cry.

‘You can see Daddy tomorrow,’ Maddy says. Max nods.

‘See you in the morning, darling.’ Max clears his throat. ‘I’ll come and tuck you in.’

Emily’s hand slips out of Max’s, but she reaches out to him as Maddy leads her towards the stairs.

Once Emily is settled in bed, Maddy lets Max go in to give her a good night kiss. When he comes out, they stand together in the glow of the light from downstairs. His hair is beginning to whiten around his ears. He touches her face and a thousand lanterns lift her heart. She longs for him to hold her, but when he bends to kiss her, she pulls away.

‘You can’t snap it back into place just like that,’ she says.

‘I know, I know.’

‘Come and see your son.’

His face is the picture of surprise.

‘When was he born?’

‘He came early.’

‘Oh, was everything okay?’ He frowns.

‘They said my dates could have been wrong.’ For a moment she is pulled back into the murky darkness of another night. ‘It all happened so fast.’ She can see him thinking it over.

‘What have you called him?’

‘Samuel, Sam.’

He nods his approval and follows her into their bedroom.

She breathes in the sweet smell of baby wipes and milk. The wooden crib is next to her side of the bed. Sam is asleep.

‘He’s beautiful.’ Max smiles.

‘Doesn’t he look like you?’ She smooths the crochet cover and touches the edge of the crib setting off the gentlest rocking motion.

‘That blanket…’ Max sits on the corner of the bed.

‘It was in the loft with a few other baby bits we’d kept.’ She thinks she crocheted it when she was pregnant with Emily, or was it Chloe? She lifts a loose thread from the bottom corner. A flower in the centre of a square has started to unravel. ‘Emily’s had more fits since you disappeared.’

Max is quiet, pressing his fingers to his temples.

Maddy smiles at her mother keeping a close eye on them in the dressing table mirror.

‘I’ll make some coffee,’ Maddy says. ‘You said you had something you wanted to tell me.’

He runs his hand through hers as she walks past. She stops for a moment but turns away and he follows her downstairs.

Chapter Sixty-Nine

Alison: December 2019