Maddy’s cold on the floor. Her head is a fug. She cannot keep her eyes open any longer. Max is above her calling her name. The siren grows louder and louder. She is sinking. Noises fade away and she is floating.

Her mum stands before her in a bright halo of light with Chloe. Maddy reaches up and takes Chloe’s outstretched hand. Everything blurs at the edges and folds into black.

Chapter Seventy-Four

Max: May 2020

There isn’t a cloud in the sky and there’s little shelter from the heat. Max is wearing flip-flops, shorts and Maddy’s white straw hat. He carries a basket on his arm as he shuffles across the lawn. He stops and takes a breath and waits for the pain to pass. His leg’s playing him up something rotten today. Doctor says he should use a stick to get about, but he’s not ready for that.

Emily is stretched out on the sunlounger reading a book, her skin is already a fair bronze. Max chucks a rolled-up towel on the grass and kneels too heavily making himself wince. He’s constructed a Moon Garden next to the black garden. He hopes Maddy will like it. There are a million things he wants to say to her. Every night he lies in bed with imaginary conversations playing out in his mind. Sorry will never be enough.

The garden was in a shocking state after winter. He couldn’t face doing a thing except looking after Emily. Soon he is digging into the earth, pressing the new shoots in, patting fresh compost over the top so the plants are solid in their new positions. Emily wanders over and sprinkles water around them from a small can, careful not to wet the leaves in case they burn under the scorching sun.

After Maddy was arrested and sectioned she was taken to a psychiatric hospital. He thought he would fall apart. The doctor upped his medication. But there is no pill that can fix them. He’s done too much damage.

From inside the house, the telephone is ringing. Emily scampers off to the kitchen. The back door is open and Max listens to her answer the call. Her voice is breathless with one-word answers, then click. Emily skips towards him, face beaming. ‘Mummy will be home in thirty minutes.’

Max hugs her. It’s felt like she’s lost her mum, she’s told him, as well as her sister and the baby. Every night they chat long into the evenings about everything that’s happened. Emily is keen to get to know Jamie better. If only Alison would let him see the boys. Charlie must be almost five months old and he misses Jamie’s silly laugh and watching him play football.