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Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Prologue
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Chapter Sixty
  64. Chapter Sixty-One
  65. Chapter Sixty-Two
  66. Chapter Sixty-Three
  67. Chapter Sixty-Four
  68. Chapter Sixty-Five
  69. Chapter Sixty-Six
  70. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  71. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  72. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  73. Chapter Seventy
  74. Chapter Seventy-One
  75. Chapter Seventy-Two
  76. Chapter Seventy-Three
  77. Chapter Seventy-Four
  78. A Letter From Ruby
  79. Acknowledgements
  80. About the Author
  81. Also by Ruby Speechley

‘You weren’t here, they were in your bottom drawer and I’ve not seen you wear them for ages.’

‘Put him on the fire, Daddy,’ Emily growled, hands on hips.

Max bared his teeth and swung the cloth body up in the air, his past life landing on the hungry fire. They all stood back, quiet now, watching the Guy being swallowed up by flames.

Chapter Forty-Eight

Alison: November 2019

Alison calls out to Jamie for his dinner. For once he’s switched off the TV and gone to his room. He doesn’t answer. This is the third time she’s called him. She stomps up the stairs. He’s probably plugged in to some music or a game and can’t hear a bloody thing. She pushes his door open and is about to shout at him but he’s not there. He’s not in bed because it’s been made. She looks behind the door then opens the wardrobe. He’ll jump out at her in a second and scare her to death. She searches in their bedroom and the bathroom. Did she hear him creep downstairs or was that Poppy moving?

‘Come on, Jamie, no more games, your dinner is getting cold.’

The house is quiet except for the extractor in the bathroom and the wind howling down the road. The back door slams giving her a start. ‘Jamie?’ she calls over the banister. Still no answer. She marches down the stairs. This isn’t funny anymore.

Jamie is standing in the hallway in his coat. His face is red, tear tracks shining on his cheeks.

‘Where’ve you been? I didn’t say you could go out, did I?’ She grabs his arm and he pulls away from her. ‘Why did you go out without asking me?’

‘It’s all your fault Dad hasn’t come home,’ he sobs and runs past her up the stairs. She shakes her head, unsure of what just happened. She’ll leave him to calm down.

A removals van is parked on next door’s drive when Alison and Jamie arrive home the next day. Two men carry a large box marked ‘kitchen’ through the doorway. A Yorkshire terrier runs out between their legs and stands there barking at her and Jamie. Jamie whimpers and jumps behind her. A middle-aged woman wearing beige cotton trousers, dirtied by dust, steps out and shushes the dog away.

‘Sorry about that, he won’t bite,’ the woman says in a deep smoker’s voice. She steps forward, a large stride for a woman. ‘I’m Natty.’

‘I’m Ali and this is Jamie.’ She manoeuvres him forward, gently tipping his face up by the chin. ‘Jamie’s dad, Adam, is away on business.’ She cringes. She’ll kill him for embarrassing her like this.

‘He’s always away, and it’s all your fault.’ Jamie stamps his foot and pushes his fist into her side.