Wendy never made it to the QUICK QUIZ play off (about which no-one was surprised) but she did get a QUICK QUIZ Mattress and a QUICK QUIZ Donkey Jacket and a QUICK QUIZ libel suit on account of how she’d broken the contractual requirement for lightness of tone at all times. Bob Peter told her straight up – some people make good tv and some don’t – she was in the latter group.

From the day she fucked up on QUICK QUIZ Wendy wore a t-shirt saying OUT OF CONTROL and she couldn’t sleep at night or keep her food down. The docter said she was suffering from post-NATO depression but that didn’t mean fuck-shit to Wendy or anyone else of her kind.

Wendy was a single mother and her little kids’ uncles were a large and indiscriminate throng. There was Bad Jensen and Torvald Hemmingden, there was Rudi Schropp-Pedersen and also the twins Chris and Stephen Arne Naamansen.

One night Wendy curled up tite in her bed with her daughter (whose name was Grief) and Wendy woke screaming from a dream. In the dream Bob Peter (host of QUICK QUIZ) was one of her best mates and they were hanging out together down at the mall and shoplifting, often stealing more than they needed to or things they didn’t want. The security guards in the dream were getting confused in the dream because in the dream they were finding lots of half-eaten Chanel Chocolates and other things stuffed in the cisterns of the toilets in the dream.

Round this time Wendy was working in a crack factory or a cracker factory and she always brought stuff home with her so she and her daughter got plenty to eat even if it was a monotonous diet. They certainly had plenty of energy, or at least that’s what the neighbours sed for they never stopped complaining abt the noize that they had to cum on and feel all the fucking time.

By and by things happened and Wendy’s daughter (Grief) enrolled at night school to study old Sanskrit language and quantum math. She was a good student (not like her mum) and much could be learned from her as an example to other persons. She got good grades and even helped the other students with some of the mortally difficult tasks. One of the students was chained to a cliff-side and every night ghosts came to torment him and tear out his eyes and each morning when the sun-came up the eyes grew back again and Grief brought the man a drink of water.

One week the teacher set Grief a question for homework, in fact a v hard question of computational philosophy first posed by Mary Norum in her book FAT CHANCE: SOME PROBLEMS IN THE THEORY OF QUANTUM PARTICLE PATH PREDICTION (Sleep Press ‘96).