Just at that moment tho the door to the bed-chamber opened and Chaikin stood in the doorway with his wife whose pale face wore a slippy kind of smile. Elizabeth fell on her bed in a dead faint and the bloke from the video shop, powerless to resist, was carried off to a high dungeon and also incarcerated against his volition.

Several days passed in which the bloke from the video shop was kept imprisoned thus and it looked like he’d never escape. All he could think of was the indignities etc suffered by Elizabeth and the many hard-ons this gave him as well as how he wanted to save her and Jane. Only rats and other animals scurrying in the dirt of his cell were any company to ________ during this time.

Down in the town some of the people began to get a bit worried. The video store had been closed for several days and people were fed up watching the same stuff all the time plus worried abt overdue fines and other penalties. Besides all this _________ had not shown up at any of his regular pubs and bars and he owed several people a drink. Remembering a conversation about the house on the hill (etc) one of ____________’s pals organised a deputation to visit the place and search for news of ___________.

Just when he (_____________ ) was going to give up hope of ever getting out, saving the twins or eating human food again he looked out the winder of his cell and saw a torch-lit procession coming up the road past Tescos twds the house. It wasn’t long before the locals were barging down the doors with a couple of wheelie-bins and helping him, Jane and Elizabeth to safety. How their hearts sang etc and blood soared to be free.

All thru that nite (3rd Nov) Chaikin and his wife fled, trying to avoid mob justice but in the end they were caught and their bodies were torn asunder and thrown in a river by the Volga.

People in Endland (sic) still tell the story of _________ from the video shop and rescue of Jane and Elizabeth and how they lived happily thereafter forever and a day and how the shop they ran was a good one (not like BLOCKBUSTER which rented out many many defective copies of PINNOCHIO and CHAIN GANG) and how the Gods themselves (esp Zorba, Poseidon Adventure, Risotto and Mr Bumpy) were jealous of their pleasure, their hapiness and their lives.

AFTERWORD