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Adults

Emma Jane Unsworth
Chapters (106)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. PROLOGUE
  4. A FEW MONTHS EARLIER
  5. ART SAID
  6. I WALK
  7. THEY SAY
  8. IN THE WINGS
  9. THEY SAY
  10. I POST
  11. THEY SAY
  12. A WOMB OF ONE’S OWN
  13. THERAPY SESSION #1(DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE)
  14. LIKE OF DUTY
  15. PICTURE THE SCENE
  16. I SAID
  17. THE PATATAS BRAVAS
  18. KELLY HAD SAID
  19. SOBER SEXTS
  20. ABLUTIONS
  21. MY BATHROOM SAID
  22. TIPPING POINT
  23. MY MOTHER SAID
  24. I WAS EIGHTEEN
  25. ART SAID
  26. SOMEONE SAYS
  27. A REALLY BAD SIGN
  28. MIA SAYS
  29. I WALK
  30. KNOCKKNOCK
  31. ONE-LINERS
  32. I SAY
  33. THE OUTRAGE
  34. BABY ELEPHANT
  35. ART SAID
  36. MY MOTHER SAYS
  37. HOW I MET KELLY
  38. ART SAID
  39. ART SAID
  40. WHAT LASTS?
  41. BAD STAND-UP
  42. GHOSTESS WITH THE MOSTEST
  43. I WOKE UP LIKE THIS
  44. THE MIND CREATES THE ABYSS
  45. I ADORED
  46. ART SAID
  47. YOU
  48. TERMS OF ENDEARMENT
  49. IF
  50. ART’S MOTHER SAID
  51. FULL DESPERATE
  52. MISERABLE PHO
  53. BREATHING FOR ONE
  54. POPULAR PROBLEMS
  55. ON THE BUS
  56. TABS
  57. GRANMA SAID
  58. ALL MY CIRCUS, ALL MY MONKEYS
  59. BURNOUT
  60. THERAPY SESSION #2
  61. IN
  62. APP IDEA
  63. LOOK NO HANDS
  64. HI HI HI
  65. BACK AT HOME
  66. EXHIBITS A AND B
  67. GOOD FAMOUS PEOPLE
  68. MY MOTHER
  69. STILL
  70. LIFE
  71. WE’D GONE
  72. ‘FUNNY’
  73. OUTGROWN
  74. ART SAID
  75. BODIES OF WORK
  76. KELLY SAID
  77. FAKE NEWS
  78. GOOGLE ME
  79. SOCIAL CATERPILLAR
  80. REALLY THO
  81. DEALS WITH STRANGERS
  82. NEWS ITEM
  83. NICOLETTE SAYS
  84. HALF AN HOUR LATER
  85. ASS FIZZ
  86. THAT NIGHT
  87. IT HAPPENED TO HAPPEN
  88. #FROTHEH
  89. MY MOTHER SAYS
  90. THE HEART CROSSES IT
  91. MANCHILD
  92. WHO YA GONNA CALL
  93. NAKED AMBITION
  94. SOHO SQUARE
  95. CHIEF EMOTIONS
  96. SHE SAYS
  97. KELLY SAYS
  98. GENUINE QUESTION
  99. LIFE DRAWING
  100. RELAX
  101. WE LIE
  102. SILENT-ISH NIGHT
  103. THANKS
  104. About the Author
  105. ALSO BY EMMA JANE UNSWORTH
  106. About the Publisher

Cover

Cover image: Adults by Emma Jane Unsworth

Dedication

To my mum, Lorraine.

Sail on, silvergirl

PROLOGUE

SOHO SQUARE

I sit and wait for her, my feet swinging under the bench. She’ll come soon, and she’ll know where.

Adrenaline. I squeeze my own arms. Tap my toes. God, I hate waiting. Is that what I’ve been doing all these years? Waiting, for her? Maybe all those therapists were right. Maybe therapy isn’t just a bad stand-up show you don’t have the balls to take on the road.

I look around, at the other people chatting and posing and repositioning themselves, whiling away this cold Friday. It’s a few weeks before Christmas and the city is all lit up. People are smiling too much, drinking too much, wanting too much, wearing too much tinsel. Nothing points to the ephemeral nature of life quite like tinsel.

I look towards the north gate of the square and it’s then that I see her. Dishevelled, pulling on her coat. She scans the benches, spots me and freezes. I wave. She tilts her head to one side and bats her eyes, as though appealing to some ancient understanding between us; as though this has all been a scripted episode, some kind of brilliant shared joke. I stare at her emotionlessly. I am not playing. She stares back. It’s checkmate with the old queen.

She starts to walk over. I almost don’t recognise her with her clothes on. Which is a strange thing to say about your mother.

A FEW MONTHS EARLIER

HELLO, WORLD!

It is 10.05 a.m. and I am queuing at the breakfast counter of my co-working space in east London. The weather outside is autumnal but muggy and I have over-layered. I am damp at my armpits and wondering whether to nip out and buy a fresh T-shirt at lunch. I made dhal for dinner last night from a budget vegetarian cookbook I picked up in a charity shop, and let me tell you, it was astonishing. I am creating a social media post about a croissant that I am pretty sure will define me as a human.