After a moment, he gently brushes off my question. “I’ve had a lot of practice. I have a younger sister, her name’s Emma.” I know there is more to it and I guess I will get him to open up eventually so I don’t push him further. He drops his bag on the floor, allowing him both hands free to spin me around to face him. Slowly his eyes drag up my body. If only I knew what he was thinking right now.

“We need to fix that,” he says, almost to himself and he reaches down to get something out of his bag.

“Fix what?” I ask, unsure what he is referring to.

“You’re too in your head Kins. I need you to be focused on what you are feeling, not what you’re thinking.”

God, if only he knew how right he was. I’ve been using his body as an escape from my mind this whole time. A black piece of fabric is placed over my eyes and it takes away my vision. Now that I can’t see, when he speaks, his voice is all I can focus on. My body hums in anticipation for what it will be like when he touches me.

“Kins you have no idea how much I love watching you, so this is more for you than it is for me.” I can feel his hands on my hips as he whispers against my neck, “Your eyes turn almost golden when you come and it’s my favourite sight to see. But, I have forever to look you in the eyes whilst you come, so I can give up this one day.”

‘Forever’. He said that, right? Surely it wasn’t just my heightened senses and emotions running wild. My breathing picks up. I need him to keep touching me, to keep me in the present with him, to keep me out of my head. All of a sudden his hands are no longer on me and music fills the bedroom, Silence by Marshmello plays before Tanner takes my hands leading me forward.

“Climb up onto the bed and lie down on your stomach for me.”

I place my hands out in front of me and sure enough I’m standing at the edge of the bed. I do as he says, lying down on my stomach whilst I can hear him sorting through his bag. The bed dips from his weight and Tanner takes my hands, securing them behind my back. I wiggle at the discomfort of the position it puts my shoulders in. Not only has he taken away my ability to see but now I can’t use my arms or hands.

“I’m going to roll you over now,” Tanner says. My weight presses down on my arms that are tied behind my back as he turns me.

“Okay, now spread your legs for me.”