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Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

‘You can take a couple of hours off.’ Vee doesn’t feel like letting this go, tonight. Even after this almost-decade of being part of the movement, she’s still more comfortable with Leonie by her side. Plus, she’s wretched with jet-lag from last week and flying to India to photograph Mother Teresa, and being with someone else will make this evening better than a chore. ‘Come on, Leonie. It will be a laugh.’

‘Did a woman write it?’

Vee unpins the tickets from the corkboard on the wall and looks at the detail. ‘No. Mike Leigh?’

‘Well, a woman wrote this’ – Leonie waves the book – ‘so she wins. Anyway. I’m really not up to it.’

And Vee just can’t be bothered, anymore. Almost seven years of living with someone who bends the rules to suit themselves is, all of a sudden, too much. ‘You’re well enough to shag some idiot who can’t read a DO NOT OPEN sign on my darkroom door. Take some responsibility, Leonie. You’re not ill. You just can’t be bothered.’

‘I’m not well,’ Leonie says, in a voice on the edge of whining, ‘and you have no right to say what’s going on in my body—’

For once, Vee interrupts. ‘I think I have the right to call you on the bullshit you talk so you never have to do anything you don’t want to do. Do you think I want to do this tonight when I’ve been at a shoot since eleven and I’ve got another one that starts at eight in the morning? Do you think I never get sick of being “that bird photographer”, like I’m a freak show? Do you think I like ironing my clothes? Do you think I never get tired of the endlessness of this stupid fight?’

‘You’ve been a feminist for, what, less than ten years and you’re tired of it? Tired of being able to work a camera without your tits getting in the way? Well, sorry making a living off the back of the rest of us isn’t enough for you.’ Vee has seen this malice in Leonie before, directed at men who talk over the top of her, women who think feminism might be complicated, or different, to the way Leonie sees it. This is the first time it’s been hurled in her direction, and it stings.

Especially because, ‘I didn’t mean that fight, Leonie. I meant this fight. The one we’re having. Me selling out, you being keeper of the flame or whatever it is that you think only you can do.’

‘I’m what?’ Leonie’s gaze is focused, hard.

May as well say it. ‘The rest of us are – getting on. Finding ways to work in the world. You sit in here and you judge us and tell us where we’re going wrong. Especially the ones who are successful.’