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Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

• ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’ by Band Aid was number one in the singles chart for five weeks

• The first episodes of Crimewatch and The Bill were shown on television

• Anita Brookner’s novel, Hotel du Lac, was published

• The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks was published

• Sisterhood is Global: The International Women’s Movement Anthology edited by Robin Morgan, was published

And it’s a big year for Leonie Barratt, who is finally getting the recognition she deserves.

July 1984

July 1984

Colchester

‘You’ll find, Miss Moon, that your father left everything in excellent order for you.’ Derek Davison is her father’s solicitor and the son of an old friend of his, and Vee hasn’t met him in person before now. It’s been easier to do all of the paperwork related to Stanley’s death by post. But she’s come back to Colchester to deal with the loose ends. (She doesn’t like to think of them as loose ends. She will never tidy her father away.)

She has made sure the house has been cleared properly. She’s taken all she wanted after the funeral and employed a house clearance company to do the rest. Once she’s finished here she’s going to meet Barry, who had come to the funeral and been more than decent afterwards, showing her photographs of his kids and joking that the photographs she took of him back in the day must be worth a fortune. He’s the manager of a branch of an estate agent now, and he’s going to sell the house for her. She knows she can trust him to do it properly, and to treat her like a human, rather than a woman. Though she still feels animal, really. Raw at being in a world without her steadfast father in it.

She doesn’t like Derek Davison very much. He didn’t thank his secretary, who brought in a tray with teapot, teacups, sugar in a bowl and milk in a jug, and left it on a table close to the end of his desk. If he’s waiting for Vee to pour it, he’ll wait a long time. He’s reading through the papers; Vee would have expected him to have done so already. She doesn’t turn up to a shoot and then start loading film into her camera.

‘It’s Ms, not Miss,’ Vee says. ‘We had discussed what would happen, when he died, and I was aware of what was in his will.’

The solicitor nods. ‘Of course, there is only you. As a beneficiary. Which makes things simple, from a legal point of view. Will you be selling the house?’

Vee notes how he’s sidestepped her correction to ‘Ms’. ‘Do you need to know that?’