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Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

• Following a vote of no confidence in James Callaghan’s Labour government, the Conservative Party won the election and Margaret Thatcher became Prime Minister

And, much to Leonie Barratt’s disgust, Veronica Moon is commissioned by the Observer magazine to photograph her.

15 May 1979

15 May 1979

‘HEY, LEE.’ KENNETH IS A head taller than Leonie, wide as well as tall, and when he embraces her she feels, for a moment, small. She doesn’t like it; she shakes him off.

‘Hey. Long time no see.’

He grins and throws himself onto the sofa in the corner of the magazine office where he works. ‘Have a seat,’ he says. ‘You should have said you were coming in, I could have skived. But I’ve got things to do.’

She did wonder about letting him know in advance, but in and out is probably best, ‘I’m going to meet Veronica Moon after this,’ she says.

Ken makes an impressed face. ‘You’re mixing in grand circles.’

Nobody remembers, or cares, that Leonie was the one who got Vee started. ‘Sod off,’ she says. She should get this over with but it’s harder than she thought it would be, now she’s here.

‘What can I do for you? Last time was – a blast. As I remember . . .’ He smiles, just the right side of lechery. It gives Leonie both the warm remembrance of one of the rare nights she actually let a bloke stay over – she learned from that time some idiot trashed Vee’s photos – and the way to start the conversation.

‘That’s why I’m here,’ she says, ‘there were . . . consequences.’

Another nice thing about Ken: you can see exactly what he’s thinking in his face. He goes from puzzlement to surprise to worry to calculation, and skims his gaze over her body – breasts, belly. ‘Lee. I’m sorry. That was months ago, wasn’t it?’

‘Six,’ she says, ‘I didn’t realise until a couple of weeks ago.’

He nods. ‘Sure,’ he says, ‘you wouldn’t.’ Translation: someone your size wouldn’t notice a pregnancy unless you were looking for it. He leans back on the sofa, letting out a long exhale. ‘Christ. I’m sorry.’

‘Hey. It happens.’ Come on, Leonie. Talk. But this is a conversation that she isn’t up for, all of a sudden. She wants to be with Vee. Sisters are always better at this sort of thing.

‘I assumed you were on the Pill.’

‘You assumed wrong.’ Leonie’s never bought into another way of making women be responsible for everything in the world except money, but she doesn’t have the energy to explain that right now.

‘What do you want to do? Is it too late to—’ He makes a sweeping motion with his arms, waist to knee.

‘Abort it? Yeah.’

‘Right.’ He gives her a nervous smile. ‘I’m assuming you don’t want to – like – get together. Get married, or anything?’