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Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

Being here, in the noise and the fury and the overwhelming goodwill from sister to sister, is something like being young, and very likely to be the last time she experiences this. Oh, what they could have done, in the 1970s, with mobile phones and a media shaped and called out by any woman with a hashtag and a sense of outraged self: Leonie would have loved it. (Once she had vented her outrage at media still owned, governed and run by men.) The sisterhood of the 1970s would have won, properly, thoroughly, if they had only had what women today have, and think nothing of. Surely.

Leonie would have loved to see Erica here, too. (There’s something about Erica’s name that bugs Vee, at the edges of what she has forgotten.) And been horrified that it was her first demo. Although, of course, if Leonie was here Erica would have been to plenty of protests, whether Ursula liked it or not. Vee lets the camera search for Erica again, finds her further forward now, her small green back standing out. She’s talking to the woman next to her, pointing at the stage, earnest. The sight of her makes Vee lower her camera and close her eyes, let the pain be in her head, instead of outside it, joined to and drowned by this noisy, fierce crowd, whooping their support for the actor who is calling for more action, for persistence and resistance and never giving up. Erica looks around, in the lull, looking for Vee, who raises a hand. Erica looks brighter than Vee has yet seen her. ‘Thank you’, she mouths, and then she is pushing a fist into the air with everyone else, as the actor leaves the stage, her own fist raised.

Vee doesn’t recognise the next speaker, but from the shape of her, the poise, she must be an athlete.