Back The Woman in the Photograph
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

She looks for Erica. It takes a couple of seconds to find her. She is shifting further into the crowd the way that people do, without ever noticing. There’s no photograph worth taking there; just the green of the coat, the straight brown of her hair, nothing much to see. She’ll take a photograph later, a record for Erica that she was here.

Vee crouches – her vision tilts for a second, but soon finds equilibrium again – and from this angle, placards form a new skyline against the cold March blue; in the bottom of the shot, the hats of the women in the crowd make a bumping horizon. That’s more like it. Click.

Now she’s started she can’t stop. Was she always compelled like this? Maybe she was. She ought to be cold but she doesn’t feel it. She photographs an older woman, hair dyed purple, pussy hat, blowing on her hands, and the cloud of coldness in the air makes the boldness of her stare all the greater. It’s a good photograph. In Vee’s heyday, that would have made a cover shot for a picture editor worth their salt: mauve hair, pink hat, blue sky, grey air, questioning bright eyes, demanding to know why Vee is pointing her camera in that direction. The cover line would be something like: ‘Women’s Rights: coming in from the cold’.

Looking around the crowd, she picks out other faces, captures their expressions of outrage, unity, sadness with a series of shutter clicks. The crowd is more multi-coloured than it once would have been, more nuanced, too. As though there are more kinds of woman than there used to be.

Leonie once wrote that feminism would only succeed when it was made up of more than white women and dykes. Well, here you are, Leonie, Vee thinks: here is your crowd, my friend. Black, brown, white, gay, straight, bi, cis, trans. Vee takes shot after shot. She would photograph every woman here, if she could. If there was any film left over she’d photograph the men, too.

Oh, this is a good feeling. If Vee aches, she doesn’t know it. Her old self is back. She might be missing a part of her brain, but with her camera in her hands she is very nearly whole.

She is months from death and yet she is happier than she has been in a long time.