Chapters (95)
- Front Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Contents
- Video #1
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Video #2
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Video #3
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Eighty-One
- Eighty-Two
- Eighty-Three
- The Final Video
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Back Cover
I’ve thought about telling Dad, but it just seems too weird. I could talk to Chad or even Olivia, but I’m not sure they have the perspective I need. I want to hear from someone with life experience, someone with some wisdom.
“Something did happen between Chloe and me. And maybe that’s what caused all the problems.”
Thirty-Three
Chloe’s parents were going out, and we knew we’d have the house to ourselves.
Scott had some kind of work banquet in Leesburg, about thirty minutes away from Bentley. They went every year on the same weekend, and they never once missed it.
So we knew they’d be out. We’d been talking about having sex for weeks. The longer we dated, the closer we got. This happened in the back seats of our cars, in spare rooms at parties, on a blanket in the park. We’d explored every inch of each other’s bodies—and had an amazing time doing it—but we’d always stopped just short of having sex.
Things never progressed very far with Hannah or with any of the other girls I’d dated. So most of the things I did with Chloe were new to me, and they all blew my mind.
Fooling around with Chloe was different from anything I’d ever experienced.
Maybe it was because of how beautiful she is. Maybe because of how much we trusted each other.
Or maybe because of how into each other we are, how much we love each other. Whatever the reason, when we were together, it was unlike anything else.
Even though I’d heard that the first time having sex can be more than a little awkward, I didn’t believe that conventional wisdom. Chloe and I wouldn’t be like everybody else.
At first, we weren’t.
We were in her room. The lighting was perfect, and a couple of candles burned on her dresser. She played a mix we both loved.
Everything was full-steam ahead until it was time to put on the condom.
They never show that part in the movies. I’d awkwardly practiced at home a few times, and it seemed pretty easy, but having to do it in the moment, in Chloe’s bed, with the music playing and the candles burning and her waiting there, watching me…
It was a struggle.
The first one broke. By the time the next one was on, the moment had passed.
We scrambled to get it back, and we started to get there. But it also felt a little like work. I was in my head, feeling self-conscious. And Chloe tried to direct me, which made me more self-conscious.
Then it finally happened. Something gave, and Chloe yelped a little. I asked if I’d hurt her, and she shook her head, but it just didn’t seem like all the other times we’d been together. It just didn’t seem like us.