Chapters (95)
- Front Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Contents
- Video #1
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Video #2
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Video #3
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Eighty-One
- Eighty-Two
- Eighty-Three
- The Final Video
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Back Cover
Briefly—and tactfully—I relate my struggles with the condom. Part of my brain feels relieved, and another is fully aware my little sister is hearing intimate details about my sex life. We’ve talked about a lot, and I mean a lot. We’re close—especially since Mom died—but we’ve never talked about anything like this. But it actually feels kind of right to open up to her in this way. If I add it all up, who do I trust more than Olivia and Dad? Before today, Chloe would have been in that group, even above the two of them, but after everything that’s happened, I’m just not sure.
“So you’re wondering if Chloe was pregnant?” Olivia says. “Like, maybe it was possible?”
“Maybe.”
“Hmmm.”
“Did Chloe ever mention Mike Basher to you?” I ask.
“That idiot? No. He’s so gross.”
“We’d know so much more if we could just find her damn journal. But the cops have searched her locker, the car. They’ve been all through her house and her room. Why would she keep a journal and then just get rid of it? What’s in there?”
Olivia continues to twirl the drawstring. She seems to be twirling with greater intensity, and there’s a distant look on her face.
“What?” I ask. “What are you thinking?”
“The cops looked everywhere in her house?”
“Of course. They’re cops. Why?”
“Did you tell them about her secret hiding place?”
She’s joking, right? But the look on her face says something else.
“Olivia, what the hell are you talking about?”
Forty-Eight
Olivia’s mouth opens but nothing comes out for one of the few times in her life. Then she says, “I–I just assumed you knew.”
“How do you know?”
She drops the string and holds out her hands, asking me to calm down. “Okay. I’ll tell you. But you have to promise not to get mad.”
“Mad?”
“Not mad exactly. Just that overprotective big brother shit you do sometimes. You know, where you act like you know more than I do just because you’re older, but you really don’t, because we all know I’m the smart one.”
“Livvy—”
“Okay, okay. So right when the school year started, Gabby’s cousin came to visit. You know, the one who was here from San Antonio? Anyway, when she was leaving, she gave Gabby a joint. Just one. And she said we should try it sometime. Well, Gabby couldn’t keep it in her house because her mom is so uptight and checks her room all the time, and I didn’t want to ask you if it was okay to hide it in here because I knew you’d be all condescending and overprotective.”
“I’m supposed to be that way.”