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Back She's Gone Save as PDF
Chapters (95)
  1. Front Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Contents
  5. Video #1
  6. One
  7. Two
  8. Three
  9. Four
  10. Five
  11. Six
  12. Seven
  13. Eight
  14. Nine
  15. Ten
  16. Eleven
  17. Twelve
  18. Thirteen
  19. Fourteen
  20. Fifteen
  21. Sixteen
  22. Seventeen
  23. Eighteen
  24. Nineteen
  25. Twenty
  26. Twenty-One
  27. Twenty-Two
  28. Twenty-Three
  29. Twenty-Four
  30. Twenty-Five
  31. Twenty-Six
  32. Video #2
  33. Twenty-Seven
  34. Twenty-Eight
  35. Twenty-Nine
  36. Thirty
  37. Thirty-One
  38. Thirty-Two
  39. Thirty-Three
  40. Thirty-Four
  41. Thirty-Five
  42. Thirty-Six
  43. Thirty-Seven
  44. Thirty-Eight
  45. Thirty-Nine
  46. Forty
  47. Forty-One
  48. Forty-Two
  49. Forty-Three
  50. Forty-Four
  51. Forty-Five
  52. Forty-Six
  53. Forty-Seven
  54. Forty-Eight
  55. Forty-Nine
  56. Fifty
  57. Fifty-One
  58. Fifty-Two
  59. Fifty-Three
  60. Fifty-Four
  61. Fifty-Five
  62. Fifty-Six
  63. Fifty-Seven
  64. Fifty-Eight
  65. Fifty-Nine
  66. Sixty
  67. Sixty-One
  68. Sixty-Two
  69. Sixty-Three
  70. Sixty-Four
  71. Sixty-Five
  72. Video #3
  73. Sixty-Six
  74. Sixty-Seven
  75. Sixty-Eight
  76. Sixty-Nine
  77. Seventy
  78. Seventy-One
  79. Seventy-Two
  80. Seventy-Three
  81. Seventy-Four
  82. Seventy-Five
  83. Seventy-Six
  84. Seventy-Seven
  85. Seventy-Eight
  86. Seventy-Nine
  87. Eighty
  88. Eighty-One
  89. Eighty-Two
  90. Eighty-Three
  91. The Final Video
  92. Acknowledgments
  93. About the Author
  95. Back Cover

Both of us know I’m just saying it.

Fifty-Nine

As soon as Chad is gone, the journal comes out.

Hunter is wonderful—

Hunter and I went to—

I talked to Hunter about—

What’s it going to be like when Hunter and I go away to college next year?

She wrote that at the end of the summer. Chloe and I never talked about the future very much. We knew it was coming, that the chances we’d go to the same school were slim. And once or twice, we made vague promises about visiting each other.

But we knew the odds.

We’d seen plenty of other couples try to make a relationship last past high school, and they almost always failed. Is that why Chloe had been pulling away? Is that what was wrong?

If it were that simple, why didn’t she just tell me?

My hands shake as I flip to the date when we had sex. September 15.

Well, Hunter and I finally had sex for the first time last night. All those people who told me the first time might suck weren’t wrong. Mom told me that on her honeymoon with Dad, it was like the blind leading the blind. That’s what Hunter and I were like. Ordinarily we maul each other like two cats in heat, but trying to have sex was like trying to launch a space shuttle.

Everything she says is true. In Chloe’s voice. Reading what she wrote is like hearing her whispering in my ear. Chloe’s spirit is all over those pages like her fingerprints. I’m so happy to hear her again.

But we made it work. Eventually. So…it’s official! We’re no longer virgins. Yay!

Seriously, Hunter was so great. Patient. Gentle. Loving. I’m so lucky to have done it with him when so many other girls have to do it with douchy guys the first time. And then you have to remember losing your virginity to a douche for the rest of your life.

Thank God she remembered it that way.

Maybe there’s nothing in the journal. Maybe Chloe doesn’t have any secrets.

But ten days later, there’s an entry that leaves me cold.

What happened today… There are no words. I feel like I must have dreamed it. Or it’s more like a nightmare. Did it really happen? Will things ever be the same?

Will they?

I want to scream at the pages: What happened?

The next page has been torn out. Jagged edges of paper peek out of the binding like broken teeth. Why was this page torn out?

Maybe she started writing, made a mistake, and ripped it out. She was writing by hand. She said at the beginning she knew she’d rip some pages out if she didn’t like the writing.