Chapters (95)
- Front Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Contents
- Video #1
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Video #2
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Video #3
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Eighty-One
- Eighty-Two
- Eighty-Three
- The Final Video
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Back Cover
“Is it? Do you want me to call the school? I can’t really control what Laura says, and I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but if someone is bullying you…”
“I can handle it, Dad.”
“I meant it when I said you could be homeschooled. We could work that out. You’re graduating in six months or so. You’re an excellent student.”
“I don’t… Thanks, Dad. But I don’t want to…”
“Give them the satisfaction?”
“Exactly. I just don’t. Chloe wouldn’t want me to quit. She wouldn’t quit if things were reversed. I’m not going to, either.”
Some of the sadness goes out of Dad’s eyes to be replaced by…admiration? Pride?
“Fair enough,” he says with a nod. “But if you change your mind, or if you want me to call someone…from the school…”
“I’ll let you know,” I say.
We sit there staring at each other while the refrigerator hums. We rarely talk about anything real, and when we do, neither one of us ever seems to know how to end it. So we tend to stare at each other in awkward silence before someone gets up or goes to do something else.
“Well,” I say, trying to push things along.
“You know,” Dad says, “when your mom died, I didn’t really talk to anyone about it. I thought…well, I thought I had to be strong for you and Livvy. I focused on the two of you, which was the right thing. But I guess I’m asking you to make sure you take care of yourself.”
The clock on the wall ticks, and the second hand swings around. Music starts to thump from upstairs as Olivia deals with her frustration.
“Dad?” I ask.
“Yes?”
“Do you think Chloe is still alive?”
Dad doesn’t hesitate. “Until we know otherwise, there’s always hope.”
There’s no awkwardness between us now. He said exactly what I wanted—and needed—to hear.
“Okay,” he says, standing up. “Make sure you get a good night’s sleep.”
And he’s off to his study before I can respond.
Nineteen
Music blares from Olivia’s room. She’s mad at Dad for not pushing back against Chloe’s parents or our other tormentors. And she’s probably mad at me for not lashing out.
Olivia tends to see things in black and white. If we let her cool down, which she normally does pretty quickly, she’ll be on to something else by the time we ride to school in the morning.
A text arrives from Daniel:
Hey! That’s shitty what happened at the vigil. Remember I said I had something to show you. See you soon?