A noose was around my neck, and I couldn’t breathe. That’s the best way to describe that first reaction. Just no air. After I was able to suck in some oxygen, I bawled. Really, I did. I seriously doubt that I’ve ever cried as hard as I did reading those emails. It was an ice pick in my heart. I’m not sure why I sobbed like I did. I think I was just realizing that the world as I viewed it was not as it seemed. That everything I thought was true was a façade. In a way, I could kind of accept that. I worked hard to provide for Sophie and Aubrey, and maybe I’d taken my eye off the ball.

Maybe I had some blame here too?

I copied the folder onto a thumb drive and jammed it inside the pocket of my SkyAero laptop bag. I had a millennial at work who I knew could track the IP address and probably the sender if I ever wanted a confrontation scene. I chose not to take this step, though. Or didn’t have the balls to take it. But I did hang on to the thumb drive.

I never told Sophie what I’d found. I never let on that I didn’t trust her anymore. That she’d hurt me so bad, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over it. For a few days I couldn’t stand the sight of her. The idea that she’d let another man fuck her. Jesus! I wonder if they did it here in our house. I wonder how many times they fucked and what she said about me. Had she laughed at me when she lay in the bed next to him? Had she writhed when they had sex and proclaimed to him that his cock was thicker, bigger than mine?

I observed Sophie with newfound interest after my discovery. I studied her like a naturalist watching some strange animal in the wild, trying to understand why this creature does the things it does. How was she able to live that lie? Would it happen again? But in time I came to believe that whatever had gone on with her lover had passed. Suddenly she was attentive to me. We grew closer.

Deep down, I didn’t trust her anymore. Even so, I really tried to let myself love Sophie the best way that I could.

CHAPTER FIFTY

CHAPTER FIFTY

ADAM