“Blue,” she says, doing that little incline of her head, pinning me with her stare. “Go. I know my brother and he’ll think he did something wrong.”

I don’t want him to think that. It’s just that interacting with someone you don’t know can be tiring and stressful for a person like me. It’s like forcing someone that’s scared of ghosts to play with a Ouija board.

I’m telling you: it’s evil.

“No. You go talk to him and explain.” I nod, proud of my suggestion, but once I see the look in her eyes, I realize she’s not even close to being convinced. I try again, “I’m not doing it.”

Olivia watches me closely for a few moments, saying nothing. That scares the shit out of me. She’s never quiet.

“You can’t be like this forever. It will eat you alive,” she says.

It’s not entirely my fault. I’ve tried, I’m trying, but things don’t change overnight. Time will take care of everything. At least that’s what I’m praying for.

As much as I don’t want someone to feel bad for something they didn’t do, if there’s a way for them to find out the truth in a way that doesn’t involve me, I’d prefer it.

“You gave up.” She points her finger at me, almost brushing it on my face. Her features darken, her forehead creases and she can’t make eye contact. “Besides your mother’s events, you do nothing more than stay home and occasionally walk the neighborhood dogs. In what world will that help you?”

I’m trying to perfect my paintings and sell them online, too, but the motivation rarely comes. I only paint once a month and I never end up posting them.

It pains me that someone who spends so much time around me can’t see how hard I’m struggling.

There’s no chance she could understand. A step that’s not even noticeable to her could be an improvement for me. It takes a lot of effort that no one can see.

I try to deflect by saying, “Whoa, Olivia. Someone woke up and chose violence today.”

“Stop, you know I didn’t mean it that way. Just go outside and try,” she pleads, probably wondering if she took it too far. “My brother is perfect for you to practice.”

I shake my head and get up. “Kai and Nova are waiting for you outside,” I say, leaving her no room to try again.

Her sigh is loud as I climb the stairs, but it’s best to ignore her pleadings.

She doesn’t understand.

No one ever will.

CHAPTER SIX

ELIAS