“Think about where you were two months ago, then one month ago, then two weeks ago. Indigo, you don’t even realize how brave you were for telling him how you feel. Not many people can do that.”

I know she’s right, there is progress, but everything seems to get harder and harder.

“I hate the way I am, and I don’t know how to stop it,” I mumble into my hands. She slowly pulls them away from my face, revealing the tears that continue to slide down my cheeks.

“Nothing. Is. Wrong with you.” She takes a piece of paper and writes something on it, and I know it’s game over. That’s another task. “This week you are going to live,” Darla says while writing with her fancy pen.

I sigh, not entirely ready for whatever she has prepared. She’s always so inspired to give me tasks. I wonder when they’re going to stop. She’ll finally run out of ideas, right?

“Your homework for the next week is to do everything impulsively.” She hands me the pink sticky note. “If your first thought is to sleep instead of going somewhere, do it. If your gut tells you to kiss a guy, kiss him. No overthinking is allowed.”

I growl at her, and she only laughs as I look down at the note. Her cursive writing says, Better regret something you did than regret something you didn’t. Sighing, I nod, knowing she’s right.

But what if this week will change my life in a bad way? My thoughts are chaotic and if I follow them then maybe I’ll end up with a dog, although I know I’m not responsible enough to take care of him or even—

“Stop it,” she snaps, shoving her pen at me.

“Ugh.” I bang my head on the desk.

“Do you want to live happily?”

I raise one eyebrow, not understanding. “Of course I want that. Who wouldn’t?”

“Then fucking do it,” she says, clearly.

I laugh. “Don’t swear, it sounds weird coming from you.” Darla is a rainbow girl. She actually reminds me a lot of Olivia. She really knows how to live; she’s told me a bit about her life. Darla has two kids, Karen and David, and a husband that would do anything for her. Including letting her practice her nail art on him.

“What? I was trying to be cool,” she laughs, her face radiating.

I burst out laughing, praying to God she’ll never do it again.

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

ELIAS

On Monday, Indigo and I finished painting Olivia’s room and putting the rest of the house in place. It was a difficult job, especially because we haven’t solved anything between us. The conversation we had a couple of days ago was meant to make her not overthink things.