He pulls my body to his as he inhales my scent. “Perfume?” he asks. He seems surprised.

I never use perfume. Only a floral body soap that smells amazing. Didn’t think he’d notice. “Yeah.”

Elias takes a deep breath. “Smells heavenly.”

I still feel weird when he compliments me. I guess I'll have to get used to it since kind words and affection are his love language.

My love language has turned out to be cleaning up after myself, even though I make a huge fuss about it.

Enya says she doesn’t have anything to do now. She’s lying. I’m cleaning, but I’m not any good at it. She still has a lot to do, and even if I could handle it without her, she’s become so important to me. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

It doesn’t feel right to say our lives have gotten better in some ways. It’s true though. Not because she left, but because her absence has got the best out of us. We’re trying our hardest because we know she’s watching from above.

I don’t want to disappoint her. Or Grandma.

And I won’t.

“I love that you don’t wear your contacts anymore,” Elias says, gazing into my eyes.

I love that he loves my eyes and that he expresses it every chance he has. I love everything about him. I’m not crazy about the weird way he ties his shoes, but I guess I can cope with that for now.

“Unless we try out some roleplay,” I tease, poking his chest.

He laughs, throwing his head back. “You and your indigo eyes.”

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Writing this book has been a challenge. I did it to push my boundaries at first, as English isn’t my first language, but writing is in my blood and I figured that it would do no harm to try. And here I am. Publishing my first book.

I’d like to raise my middle finger to those who made me doubt myself and those that said I’d never get here. Ten-year-old me couldn’t wait for this moment to come.

Now, to more serious and important things.

There’s one person who has stuck beside me, no matter how hard the wind has blown. He’s saved me more than once and he’s the one who has helped me to heal. My boyfriend has been a rock to me, dealing with my anxiety, depression, and weak moments.