Elias opens the car door, smiling at me. I get in and so does he. He starts the engine and his family is still there, looking like they could wave for hours.

“Are you okay?” he asks as we drive down the street.

“Mhm.”

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Not really knowing what for, I frown at him.

“For touching you. That was inappropriate.”

I smile at that, covering it with my hand as I lean my elbow on the door.

“What’s funny?” I can hear the amusement in his voice.

“You really are respectful.”

“Well,” he shrugs, “I was raised that way, so I guess you should thank my parents for that. But I’m serious,” he continues, stealing a glance at me with earnest eyes, “I’m sorry.”

I smirk at him. “Yeah. I know.”

He mirrors my smile. “Just say the word and I’ll never do it again.”

“That was the plan, Elias. Don’t feel guilty because I knew what I was getting myself into.”

He nods, focusing on the road. “Did you have fun?”

I don’t respond at first. I look out the window, remembering the image of his family all smiling and waving at me. As he parks outside my house, I simply say, “Yeah.”

It feels hard to admit. Maybe that’s why I say it at the last moment, so there’s no chance of me bursting into tears in front of him.

As I open the gate, I feel Elias’s gaze on my back.

“See you tomorrow?” he says through the car window.

I turn around and nod, then dash into the house. Only after I get in and hear his car drive away do I allow myself to cry.

Throwing off my shoes and bag, I crawl up the stairs, tears streaming down my face.

The bedroom door opens with a thud and I throw myself onto the bed. I reach out to the bedside, grab my sleeping pills and swallow them without water.

My chest feels like an explosion of feelings. My throat has a harsh lump in it, which doesn’t ease until I let out a loud sob. I curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

INDIGO

This morning was bad. Enya coaxed me out of bed and forced me to take a shower.

All I wanted to do was spend the day in the safety of my room. Now I’m looking at myself in the mirror, seeing a whole different person than the one buried deep inside me. The girl in the reflection seems calculated. Powerful. Confident. I can’t explain how it feels to want to be like her. It doesn’t make sense, but she’s everything I’m not.

Sighing, I put my contacts in.