There’s something so attractive about big sexy men either petting animals or holding babies, isn’t there? Seeing Freddie give this cat attention just makes him seem all the more swoonsome.

As we continue back towards the villa, normally you’d expect the night air to grow quieter and quieter. But tonight, as we approach my suite door, I hear something. It’s a familiar sound, coming from inside my suite. It’s…

‘Oh, God.’

‘Is that…? Can I hear someone…?’

‘Yep,’ I reply.

I am uncomfortably familiar with the sound of my best friend’s orgasm, after living with her for so long. Her rhythmic moaning always left me feeling worn out. I could never understand how she could make so much noise for so long. I don’t know if it’s an auditory illusion, because I’m focusing on it, or if the noise is getting louder.

‘I’m guessing she really hit it off with that barman you told me she was pursuing,’ Freddie says.

‘God, I hope so,’ I reply with a laugh. You never know with Ali – she could just be alone and bored. Oh, nope, there’s a man making noise too. I can hear him. God, I can really hear him. Perhaps she’s finally met her match. If she has, it’s going to be like a game of tennis between two pros. It will go on, and on, and on.’

‘Do you want to come in for a drink?’ Freddie suggests.

‘No, it’s late, don’t worry, you get to bed. If I know Ali, this is going to go on all night,’ I tell him with a sigh.

‘Okay, well, come and sleep with me,’ he suggests. I notice him instantly regret his choice of words, before awkwardly trying to regain control of his offer. ‘I mean, come and sleep in my bed tonight – I’ll sleep on the couch.’

I don’t know what kind of face I pull, but Freddie reacts.

‘I know, it’s a little awkward but…’ Right on cue, Ali screeches like an owl in the night. I wouldn’t be surprised if her head was turning all the way around too. ‘It can’t be more awkward than going in there.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course,’ he replies. ‘I can’t leave you out here, can I?’

I smile. I can’t believe how good to me this man is, when I’m pretty much a stranger to him (and a ridiculous one at that).

‘Thank you,’ I say.

Inside Freddie’s suite – which, it turns out, is bigger than mine – you can still hear Ali and her new friend going at it like rabbits, but the wall between us dampens their sound effects enough to try and pretend it isn’t happening.

‘You can take the bed,’ he says. ‘The maids changed it this morning. I’ll sleep on the couch. I’ll show you up – I need to grab a blanket anyway.’

It’s a little awkward, heading up to Freddie’s bedroom with him – made all the more uncomfortable by the sex noises coming from next door. For a moment, I feel my footsteps fall into a rhythm with the grunting, and it makes me feel weird, as if I’m participating.