Listening to Daniel and Eva talking about their relationship is a real out-of-body experience. Daniel was with me. They were going behind my back. And yet I feel so detached from it all, as if I’m a fly on the wall, watching a reality TV show. They’re both characters I recognise and I can’t believe what shocking thing they’re doing now… but, as upset as I am, I feel removed from it. I feel as if my day-to-day life was taken from me and, with no idea what’s going to happen next, all I know now is this. Valentine Island is my new normal. I know that it’s just a holiday, and I’m not saying I want to live in a perpetual state of post-break-up, with the two of them living next door, messing around with Freddie to try and show them how over it I am… but here, things are easier. I don’t have to go back to my day-to-day routine, working, shopping, paying the bills, sharing a house with Daniel. Here really is a holiday – and Freddie is a fantastic distraction – but back home I’m going to have to face up to everything. At least while I’m here, it isn’t just a holiday. It’s a break from reality. A reality that I’m terrified to go back to.

‘How lovely,’ Victoria says.

Victoria will know why the four of us are here, which does make me wonder why she thought it might be a good idea to sit us next to each other. One wrong word and this circle of chairs could form the barrier for a fighting pit.

‘And finally,’ Victoria says, turning to me and Freddie.

I’m about to speak when Freddie takes the lead. He removes his sunglasses before he speaks.

‘Holy crap,’ Jen blurts.

‘What?’ Kevin asks her.

‘F… F… F…’

‘You sound like a steam train,’ he tells her. ‘Spit it out.’

‘Freddie Bianchi… from Edge of Eden…’

‘The mucky movies for women?’ Kevin asks, looking Freddie up and down. ‘Fair play to you, mate. I think my wife has sex with you more than she does with me.’

I wince. I feel as if I’m watching my parents argue, caught in the middle trying to eat my fish fingers and not get scarred for life.

‘I’m Freddie,’ he continues, quickly pulling attention back from Jen and Kevin’s bickering. ‘This is Lila. We’re still in that honeymoon phase where we can’t get enough of each other.’

‘That’s lovely,’ Victoria replies. ‘Any issues so far?’

‘Only in the bedroom,’ Freddie replies.

I am taken aback by his response. He’s going rogue and the fact I have no idea what he’s going to say makes me feel vulnerable.

‘Would you like to elaborate?’ Victoria prompts. I swear I just saw her bite her lip. It seems as if all women really are mad about Edward Eden – even the therapists.

‘Well, we’re here on this wonderful holiday… but we really struggle to get out of bed. We want to make the most of it and see the sights, but… you know.’