Back Going Under
Chapters (70)
  1. COVER PAGE
  2. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  3. DEDICATION
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. PART I BIRTH
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EIGHT
  14. NINE
  15. TEN
  16. ELEVEN
  17. TWELVE
  18. THIRTEEN
  19. FOURTEEN
  20. FIFTEEN
  21. PART II LIFE
  22. SIXTEEN
  23. SEVENTEEN
  24. EIGHTEEN
  25. NINETEEN
  26. TWENTY
  27. TWENTY-ONE
  28. TWENTY-TWO
  29. TWENTY-THREE
  30. TWENTY-FOUR
  31. TWENTY-FIVE
  32. TWENTY-SIX
  33. TWENTY-SEVEN
  34. TWENTY-EIGHT
  35. TWENTY-NINE
  36. THIRTY
  37. THIRTY-ONE
  38. THIRTY-TWO
  39. THIRTY-THREE
  40. THIRTY-FOUR
  41. PART III DEATH
  42. THIRTY-FIVE
  43. THIRTY-SIX
  44. THIRTY-SEVEN
  45. THIRTY-EIGHT
  46. THIRTY-NINE
  47. FORTY
  48. FORTY-ONE
  49. FORTY-TWO
  50. FORTY-THREE
  51. FORTY-FOUR
  52. FORTY-FIVE
  53. FORTY-SIX
  54. FORTY-SEVEN
  55. FORTY-EIGHT
  56. FORTY-NINE
  57. FIFTY
  58. FIFTY-ONE
  59. FIFTY-TWO
  60. FIFTY-THREE
  61. FIFTY-FOUR
  62. FIFTY-FIVE
  63. FIFTY-SIX
  64. FIFTY-SEVEN
  65. FIFTY-EIGHT
  66. FIFTY-NINE
  67. SIXTY
  68. EPILOGUE
  69. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  70. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Most other surgeons would have been annoyed, or snapped back, or even turned on their heel and left. Dr Prince apologises. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says, and he looks like he means it. ‘I had a really difficult case. I got stuck in theatre. But I can see that Kitty has been looking after you.’

I raise my eyebrows at the use of my nickname, and he looks over at me and smiles. I find myself smiling back.

‘She’s a very good doctor,’ Mrs Wilde says loyally.

‘I know she is,’ Dr Prince says. ‘She’s going to help me with your operation.’

I nearly fall over.

‘So, you are going to operate?’ Mrs Wilde asks hopefully.

‘I think so,’ Dr Prince says. ‘I looked at your scans this morning, and I think we can probably manage it. It’s in a very unusual place for this kind of tumour, the third ventricle of the brain. Extremely rare. I’m worried about the risk of hydrocephalus, as well as other things. I’ll have to run it by some other doctors first—we always consult with the rest of the multidiscipinary team before undertaking a major operation.’

Mrs Wilde starts to cry. Mr Wilde thanks Dr Prince gruffly; he sounds as if he’s on the verge of crying too. I realise even I have tears in my eyes.

Dr Prince and I leave the Wildes and walk through the darkened ward together. We stop at the doors. There’s an awkward pause.

‘Sorry I missed the operation the other day,’ I say. ‘I got a bit caught up.’

He looks at me. It’s weird; he doesn’t say that much, but when he does it always seems to mean something. Even though our encounters are brief and I always seem to be doing something embarrassing, when he looks at me it’s always directly in the eye.

‘I heard,’ he says, something else in his voice. ‘Did your senior doctors come and help you? How long did it take them to get there?’

I want to tell him the truth, that I’d been left alone on the ward while Mr Waters nearly bled to death, but I just mutter that it all worked out in the end.

He leaves it, but I know that he knows.

‘Thanks for understanding, anyway,’ I say, and without thinking I reach out and touch him on the arm.

He looks down at my hand on his arm. I quickly snatch my hand back.

He doesn’t say goodbye. He just pushes through the doors and walks quickly away, leaving me standing there staring at his retreating figure.

I go to the doctors’ room and grab my bag, then walk home.

For some reason I can’t put into words, I’m feeling down. When Winnie asks me why I seem so morose, all I can say is, ‘It’s been a long day.’ I slump onto the couch, completely exhausted.