Back Every Little Secret
Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Prologue
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Chapter Sixty
  64. Chapter Sixty-One
  65. Chapter Sixty-Two
  66. Chapter Sixty-Three
  67. Chapter Sixty-Four
  68. Chapter Sixty-Five
  69. Chapter Sixty-Six
  70. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  71. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  72. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  73. Chapter Seventy
  74. Chapter Seventy-One
  75. Chapter Seventy-Two
  76. Chapter Seventy-Three
  77. Chapter Seventy-Four
  78. A Letter From Ruby
  79. Acknowledgements
  80. About the Author
  81. Also by Ruby Speechley

‘I’ll strip the paper and prep the walls for painting. Have you decided what colour you want?’

‘White, I think it’ll freshen it up. Dad painted this room dark green once. With all his plants in here, it was like a forest indoors – I loved it, but it was very oppressive. Trouble was the cracks in the walls started to show through, so Mum made him paper it over.’

He pulled at a torn strip of cream paper exposing the green paint. ‘That’s going to be a bugger to paint over if you have white walls.’

‘I wrote my name and the date somewhere,’ she said, tearing at the paper with a ferocity that surprised him.

‘Here it is,’ she said, breathless. She stood back and unveiled the scribble in black pen: ‘Maddy Dunn 22 July 1997’. ‘I was fourteen.’ She stared at it, entranced. ‘The following year Dad died and I finished school.’

‘Was he ill?’

‘No, nothing like that.’ She looked away.

He wasn’t going to push her if she didn’t want to talk about it. He continued stripping the paper around Maddy’s name.

‘It was probably the last time I was really happy.’

He stopped what he was doing. ‘That’s a sad thing to say.’

‘It’s true. Until now, that is,’ she turned to him, beaming.

He winked at her and finished his drink. Perhaps he should tell her what really happened to his bastard parents, how they ran off to Canada in the middle of the night, leaving him with Gran in a pokey old flat and the rent overdue. Gran’s voice was forever carved in his memory: Well I never – gone without so much as a cheerio! It did make him smile in a sick sort of way. Married too young, Gran decided. They wrote to him once. Promised to come back for him, but they never did. Joined some sort of cult or commune. Said they’d all be together again once they’d set up their new life. His guts twisted just thinking about how fucking selfish two people could be. As the years went by he gave up hope of ever seeing them again. It became easier to think of them as dead. Gran always said, they weren’t the people we thought they were. She was the only one who ever cared about him. Nursing her until her last breath was the least he could do. Aged fifteen and all alone. Nice way to start out in life. Thanks for nothing, Mum and Dad. Shame you’re not worth a second thought.

They’d almost finished stripping the second wall when chips of plaster began to fall away with each strip, revealing deeper cracks.

‘Bugger. I’ll have to dig out all the loose pieces and fill the holes before I can do any painting,’ he told her. ‘It’s going to take twice as long as I thought.’