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Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Prologue
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Chapter Sixty
  64. Chapter Sixty-One
  65. Chapter Sixty-Two
  66. Chapter Sixty-Three
  67. Chapter Sixty-Four
  68. Chapter Sixty-Five
  69. Chapter Sixty-Six
  70. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  71. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  72. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  73. Chapter Seventy
  74. Chapter Seventy-One
  75. Chapter Seventy-Two
  76. Chapter Seventy-Three
  77. Chapter Seventy-Four
  78. A Letter From Ruby
  79. Acknowledgements
  80. About the Author
  81. Also by Ruby Speechley

‘He’s a fine weight, considering. Are you feeling well in yourself? You look exhausted if you don’t mind me saying. Do come and see me if you need anything and when you’re ready to discuss contraception. Don’t leave it too long.’ Max shows him out. She can hear them whispering.

When the doctor has gone, Maddy gives Sam some medicine and takes him into their bedroom. Max follows in silence. Once she’s rocked Sam to sleep, she lays him in his crib and covers him with a cotton sheet. Max lies next to her on the bed. She tries to hold his hand, but his arms are rigid and he pulls away. He shuts his eyes. Soon her eyes close too.

In her grave of sleep, a worm of sound burrows in her ear. A soft rustling at first. Then, click. She forces one eye open by a hair’s breadth. Lying on her side, all she can see through the little crack is the empty space next to her. The rustling starts again and seems to be coming from behind her. The room falls silent once more. Too quiet. She tries to move again, but sleep paralyses her. Another soft click. An unmistakable slam of a car door. At last her eyes flick open, released from a catch. The engine fires up and tyres crunch over thousands of tiny stones to the smoothness of the road. She rolls towards the empty cot and a scream erupts from her throat.

She leaps out of bed and runs downstairs. Max’s jacket and the baby’s changing bag have gone. She grabs her mobile phone and quickly slips on a pair of trainers. Her mother’s voice is loud and clear: He’s betrayed you again. She runs next door to Sarah’s house and bangs hard on the buzzer until the door opens.

‘Maddy, what’s wrong?’ Sarah puts her hands out to her, but Maddy can’t stand still, turning this way and that.

‘He’s taken Sam, can you pick Emily up from school today?’

‘Slow down a second, what are you talking about? Who’s taken Sam?’

‘Max has.’

‘What, he’s alive?’

‘He turned up last night and now he’s trying to give my baby to someone else, because he’s been lying to me about where he’s been, and I can’t trust him and I need to have Sam back with me in my arms, because I can’t lose another child, I can’t.’ She starts shaking and Sarah comes forward and holds her arms, rubbing them up and down.

‘Hey, it’ll be all right. Slow down a second. Why would Max give your baby to someone else? Surely he’s just taken him out and he’ll bring him back soon?’