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Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Prologue
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Chapter Sixty
  64. Chapter Sixty-One
  65. Chapter Sixty-Two
  66. Chapter Sixty-Three
  67. Chapter Sixty-Four
  68. Chapter Sixty-Five
  69. Chapter Sixty-Six
  70. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  71. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  72. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  73. Chapter Seventy
  74. Chapter Seventy-One
  75. Chapter Seventy-Two
  76. Chapter Seventy-Three
  77. Chapter Seventy-Four
  78. A Letter From Ruby
  79. Acknowledgements
  80. About the Author
  81. Also by Ruby Speechley

Sam is napping after a light feed. It won’t be long before he sleeps through the night. Maddy switches the kitchen light on. It’s dark outside and the gales have passed, but the rain is relentless, like it might never stop. She pours herself a glass of Merlot then rips off a piece of fresh baguette. Lifting the cloth covering the brie, she digs the bread in its creamy ripeness. The taste is tangy and moreish, like nothing she’s ever eaten before. She knocks back the wine and pours another. It’s so smooth and fruity, the best wine she’s ever tasted.

In the living room, she settles in front of the television with the lights off and switches on a recording of the Proms, which starts with Monteverdi’s ‘Arianna’s Lament’. The music lights a touch paper in her body, all her senses on high alert. Standing at the patio door, a rumble of thunder rolls its drums and lightning flashes through the cloudy sky. It’s the most incredible sight she’s ever seen. Mother’s voice is louder and clearer than ever: This is your special moment, you’re in the midst of a miracle.

After the Proms has finished, she hears a light tap, tap on the front door. At first she doesn’t want to answer it, but the tap, tapping grows louder. Answer it, Mother tells her. The person has their back to her at first but turns at the sound of the door opening. It is a man with a goatee beard, wearing a raincoat, the hood hanging over his eyes. She slowly shakes her head.

‘Maddy, it’s me.’ The man steps forward into the light of the open porch.

Her eyes blur with tears. His voice unlatches a lock inside her, she is shaking all over.

‘I thought you were dead,’ she shouts and shoves him in the chest.

He staggers back, loses his balance and lands on the wet path. He pulls himself up and throws back his hood. His blond hair is soaked in seconds. She cups her hand around her mouth, muffling a cry. Neither of them speaks while she studies his face, still unable to believe it’s really him. But there’s the passing grin Max gives when he’s nervous, the tiny mole under his eye, the full Elvis Presley lips. She sways as blackness tries to envelop her. She reaches out to the porch wall, her head swimming. He’s alive! In a surge of euphoria, she grabs both his arms and shakes him. But images of him with Alison bleed into her mind. The surge of love drains down the gutter with the rain. She turns back inside, leaving the door wide open.

He follows her into the kitchen. They stand either side of the table.

‘Where’ve you been for six whole weeks?’

‘Sheffield.’