Must a heard this CD a million times back in the day. Hated it a million times too. I dont know, man, Barenaked Ladies just isnt my jam. But I play that junk to soothe out Robbie and Im straight up stunned how good it works. Robbie hears it and grips the bathroom sink and gives his styled ass a long hard look in the mirror and sighs out a big steady sigh. I bet hes thinking what Ive been thinking. Dont think too much. Do things simple. He closes the toilet cuz he wont be needing a toilet anymore.

* * *

He plops his fat ass on the lid and dresses himself in nice pants and nice socks and regular ass shoes and then sets to buttoning his buttons which he has a hard time with. I watch Robbie how I expect a child watches his pops when his pops is prepping for work. Something happens. Im not sure when exactly. But at some point I start feeling feelings. Robbie, his nice ass clothes, the Barenaked Ladies. Them fools are singing about growing up and how its scary and challenging and whatnot. But its like theyre singing about Robbie who didnt grow up good but was all right as a child till he woke up one day old and strange. Dang, yo. Look at that. Barenaked Ladies put real ass emotions to musical song.

* * *

One things for sure. Midgets not gonna see her brother crying anymore like a pussy. I take the whole table a candies, not including the apples cuz Dag was right that idea was idiotical, and pour them in a bag thats clean except how I just pulled Robbies dirty laundry out, and once the candies are mixed even I cant tell whats razor bladed or sharp glassed or drugged or chemicaled or what. I give the bag to Midge for holding and I go out the front door and take a long breath that goes down cold as supermilk.

* * *

Only instead of things going nice and chill things focus up sharp. Theres no fumes out here. No steam from Robbies shower either. I count five or six or seven trick or treaters carrying bags down the way. Ones a Batman, ones a Transformer, and ones a Little Pony. One I notice special cuz shes hauling ass for Robbies place like shes got a magical hunch weve got the goods.

* * *