That’s how Mr. Toppen told us to begin a letter if you didn’t know who to write it to exactly & I don’t know who to write it to exactly bc I’m writing to both of you equally. If you’re confused Mom & Dad this is your son Robbie & you might say How Is That Possible bc how did Robbie who we LEFT BEHIND get our address to write us but it was easy. You always underestimate me bc I did poorly in school & then got involved in Violence but I’m not really very dumb.

All I had to do was call Uncle Gary & at first he said piss off go away & I shouldn’t call you Mom & Dad & he cried bc I bet he was picturing Mom as his little sis back in the day but I was Very Firm & I told him I’m their son who Mom & Dad LEFT BEHIND & I had a Legal Right so he gave me your current address & said God forgive me & please do not visit Mom & Dad in person. That part made me mad bc I wouldn’t do that to Mom who hates big scenes & I’ve already embarrassed both of you so much since all the Violence.

Don’t panic Mom & Dad although I was LEFT BEHIND all I want to tell you is I’m taking good care of the house after you left Very Quickly without warning me at all. Your #1 concern is probably How Can Dumb Robbie Pay The Bills but I’ll have you know Mr. Toppen taught us how to do bills bc some kids had Drunks & Druggies for parents & so bc of that lesson I paid some bills with No Problem although now I have to stop bc I went ass up bankrupt which brings me to Money & how I don’t have any left.

Don’t worry about Money too much Mom & Dad bc when I got LEFT BEHIND you didn’t take hardly any of your stuff including all the junk Dad was repairing & I know Dad I should phrase it Pieces all the Pieces you LEFT BEHIND just like me. I don’t know as much about fixing Pieces as you Dad with your Mechanical Genius but I’ve hit the books & you might be Proud of the work I did on Mr. Fielder’s Harley Davidson carburetor although to be Totally Honest I did burn the fuel tank to a crisp & Mr. Fielder was pissed unsatisfied & threw a bowling ball through the kitchen window which would have been Very Bad except the window was already gone & it just ripped the middle out of a plastic bag.