My plan is to gain pro skills at fixing Pieces & earn Decent Money & build a giant Quonset Hut for the Pieces so they aren’t willy nilly over the yard bc Mom thought that was trashy & I agree & then use the Net Profits to build an 18x40x54 above ground pool bc I think when people hear about how I have a top quality above ground pool complete with decking & landscaping they’ll want to swim in it & they’ll see how Normal I am & not Violent & I think many people who don’t like me will become friends & some of them close personal friends. It’s a solid long term business plan but for now it would be best if you sent Money for Bills as fast as possible. I am up shit creek screwed in a bind.

There is also the Lawsuit. It is a depressing thing to talk about between parents & their only son after the inspiring discussion of the above ground pool but I know you know about the Lawsuit bc I was a Minor at the time of the Incident & you had to sign Documents & Letters & Affidavits & Testimony. A clerk said I was being assigned a lawyer named Mr. Mantle but if Mr. Mantle is a Big Shot like OJ had I’d rather have a cheap ass reasonably priced lawyer to save you money Mom & Dad. Honestly my concern about Money has made me sick on the toilet & so I’m being Up Front about it & sharing it with you. You know the address where to send Money bc you used to live here.

In the meantime I promise on Gramma’s grave to keep things nice. I know Mom you were Very Proud of your 10 piece Ginsu Gourmet Cutlery Set so I won’t use them except on big thick steaks so they stay Very Sharp. I know Dad you didn’t leave your Seinfeld mug behind on purpose so I’ll only use it when all other mugs are totally disgusting. Most of all I’ll keep the Clocks which are Important Heirlooms in top notch working condition. I have hit the books on clocks & know the difference between Grandfather & Cuckoo & Pendulum & Atomic & Mechanical & Electric & Quartz & Countdown & Flip & Lantern & Lighthouse. I hope you’re impressed Dad bc to be honest I’m trying to impress you.