By the time I catch up to Dag, goatee managers scanning and Dags flashing the green and goatee managers saying our chips short twenty five bucks. I feel relief! Then it takes one second to start feeling bad about feeling relief. This is Dag here. This is Robbie. Dag and Robbies my closest people. No ones ever supported my ass like they do. So when Dag does skillful subtraction and removes a few items I dont say jack. Beer belly goatee manager man scans again and it totals the exact number of dollars we have. That oughta be what Im feeling relief about. Maybe if I try harder I can feel it.

* * *

Goatee manager man points to my face and asks if we want to buy that too. Say what? Am I gonna buy my own dang self? Its like Im in some kind a supermilk fantasy. Does this mean Jody himself is a poison chemical product? Does this mean we can decide to purchase my ass or not and the choice is up to us? Cuz if thats the case then thats the biggest relief of all cuz that decision is easy. What we need to do is put me back on the shelf before I cause anybody more harm.

* * *

Course what he refers to is Barack Obama. I peel him off and theres nowhere presidential to put him so I set him real gentle on the floor. Dang. Look at that. Hes all inside out and pink and wet. He looks like roadkill. It gives me a sad feeling. All that powerful Barack Obama power I had is flattened out. Dag pays up and Im just standing there staring. Like a zombie. Whispering Monster Mash to a roadkill president. I dont even do it on purpose. Song bubbles out a me natural. How its a graveyard smash. How it catches on in a flash. All that stupid, stupid sharkweek.

* * *

Dag hands me both bags outside. Not in shortys whole life did she ever act this hard. She informs me shes got to go eat dinner with her folks. I ask her how come and she says shes got a big test on Watership Dog on Monday and her folks are gonna quiz her ass at dinner and thats nonnegotiable. I shrug like it aint no thing but she steps to like I burned her. Its weird, yo. She says she emphasized to her folks shes got trick or treat responsibilities tonight so its gonna be a early dinner and shes gonna be back to Yellow Street quick as crap. Girlfriend says it like a threat. Like shes suspecting Im plotting to ditch these bags and screw up Robbies whole thing.

* * *