So Coach S is this handsome blond hustler thats cut even though hes old. Dude pounds so much coffee hes got two pots blasting twenty four seven and his whole body vibrates like he wants to pitbull your throat. Ask any footballer and theyll tell you if you find yourself in Coach Ss office you better be ready to sweat it out. Thats how Robbie can tell things arent normal. Coach S isnt yelling. Hes smiling and offering Robbie a chair and a thing a coffee. Robbie takes the chair but not the coffee cuz Robbies got good taste like me and knows coffee is some foul ass dirt tasting garbage.

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Coach S found out about the butthole deal. He doesnt mention if he learned it from a spy or secret camera or what but he apologizes. Robbie tells me its real obvious Coach S isnt used to saying sorry. Dude pounds coffee every other word and fidgets like he needs to drain a leg. He explains how hes gonna deal with the assistant coach private and he doesnt see a reason anyone has to know about this, and also by the way Robbies fixing to make all state if he keeps going strong on the field. Coach S is being all complimentary and reassuring and muscular. Hows Robbie supposed to react to that? Hes not even grown.

* * *

So check this out. Nobody calls the popo. Nobody gets fired. Next season comes and the assistant coach is steady working and Coach S is acting like nobodys thumbs ever been up nobodys butthole. That gets Robbie feeling strange, I guess, so he just tries to focus real hard. He miracles that football in the end zone a hundred thousand times. Sophomore year, junior year, senior year. Meanwhile sets a Guinness record for concussions. Knights are winning, though, so nobody cares how, not in this evil ass town they dont.

* * *

But privately and whatnot? Fat boys building a Eiffel Tower a rage. Hes the danged star of the danged team but he still aint got any dang friends? Still cant score a single piece a ass? I wasnt there but Ill tell you this. Females are good at sensing things with their instincts. No doubt all the cheerleaders and girlies intuitioned Robbie wasnt normal. Robbie even told me straight up, after he got buttholed he wasnt even sure about his sex stuff until Little Lamb.

* * *

Man, I dont know. Thats a lot of heavy stuff to be blaming on a thumb up your butt. Dont tell anybody but I put a thumb up my own butt just to check it out and I guess it was weird but I sure didnt lose my dang mind over it.

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