Forthwith, yes Judge Your Honor sir I’ve been Using & I don’t care if Mr. Mantle doesn’t want me to say it (Delete this if you want Mr. Mantle but I’m trying to Open My Heart!!!) bc Mr. Mantle’s the one who said I can’t fix anything until I can be Honest. I have huffed freon & done a speedball & did some GHB & smoked tons of low quality pot. I know Judge sir this doesn’t matter but I didn’t enjoy any of it & so might as well quit Using forever bc what’s the point if you can’t enjoy it?

Notwithstanding, I’m ready to admit I stole Many Items (Mr. Mantle I respect you & am glad you’re my Lawyer but can’t you feel the Value of saying this?) from the Walgreen’s close to my home on Yellow Street after I was LEFT BEHIND by Mom & Dad & even though I’m not even 20 I’m living as an independent man & making my own way in the world & if that means I have to steal some trail mix or T.P. or shaving blades don’t you think that’s a Minor Offense on a street where people sell drugs & pimp bitches all the time? I’ll make it up to Walgreen’s Judge sir, I’ll do anything you say, I’ll wash bum puke off the Walgreen’s sidewalk or dress up like a Salvation Army Santa, just don’t Throw The Baby Out With The Bath Water as Mom used to say. In this Thought Experiment I’m the baby.

You know really I don’t care anymore Judge sir bc as long as I’m on a roll why not be Honest about Every Fucking Little Thing? (Mr. Mantle, I don’t give a shit!!!) All these big words I’m starting paragraphs with are stolen too from a worksheet my teacher Mr. Toppen titled Examples of Transitional Phrases which I found by my Scrapbook. Mr. Toppen told us you should start all your paragraphs with Transitional Phrases if you want to sound Educated so Judge sir I confess to the Court that’s what I’m trying to do & I could’ve kept going bc there’s a million of these phrases such as By The Same Token & Henceforth & Be That As It May & Conversely but instead I choose honesty & I throw myself on the Mercy Of The Court.