You cant punch a light switch long before your knuckles get torn up. I get stomach pains cuz a how the light switch starts getting all these little red smears. I guess Midget experiences it too cuz she starts squeaking. That doesnt sit right with me cuz Im her brother now and even if Im just a kid and mad short and have pinkeye I still have to man up and stand tall.

* * *

So I go up to Dag and say real sensitive <Dag, hold up, we got you, my bitch> and that must be the magic words cuz she looks at me passionate with her pretty wet eyelashes before she takes a glare at all them apples. For a second I think I got it worked out in my mind. Dags upset cuz she doesnt like Robbies Halloween plan after all, she thinks its mean to children that dont deserve dangerous drugs and razor blades. And I think thats a real interesting perspective.

* * *

Turns out though thats not what shes sobbing about at all. She starts telling off Robbie about how hes trying to ruin her Halloween cuz once word gets out some cheap ass mightyducker on Yellow Street is handing out fruits, wont any children bother coming to the house at all cuz handing out fruits on Halloween, thats some shameful ass sharkweek.

* * *

Dags got some lip on her, right? Anyhow it explains her whole big fit. Girlfriends been slaving on her secret costume for weeks and there wont be any point to wearing it if no one comes around to see it.

* * *

Fat boys dumbfounded. He looks like we stole his binkie. Dags still hollering and Midges still squeaking and Robbie starts pressing his hands over his ears. And its weird, yo. I get this video in my brain how all a Midgets private bug buddies hid themself inside Robbies skull and now theyre instructing his fat ass to do various sorts a odd junk, including this whole plan about fixing up dangerous candies, and now fat boys trying to keep those evil bugs from spilling out his ears.

* * *

Robbie smacks himself on the head and says he bought these mightyducking apples at the overpriced price the mightyducking market man was selling and he will be danged if theyre gonna go to waste. He smacks himself a few more times till his faces so red it looks like hes embarrassed instead a pissed and thats when I understand the whole ballgame. The chubby ass lying ass assbutt never called his new dealer! Thats why he isnt fixing us frosty supermilks! Thats why he went and bought a fancy basket a dang apples instead! Hes scared!

* * *

Boy, you know I want to say that right to his fat face. But that wont display any maturity. For Dags sake I got to play it polite. So I take the York Peppermint Pattie outta my boot. Yeah, I snuck it from Walgreen special just for me. I admit it.

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