Thats when I have the idea to fix me a costume too. I know Dags been slaving on hers a whole month and I only have a few hours but the idea blows up my brain. Grishnákh! Bitch is my favorite ass orc! I know some internet robocops are preferential to Gorbag cuz a his armor, which I admit is sweet, but those are the same robocops that forget how Gorbag pussied out after Frodo got his Hobbit ass cocooned by Shelob and how that led to Gorbag getting impaled by Samwise Gamgee. Think about it, yo. Remember when Grishnákh disobeyed Uglúk and tried to eat Pippin and Merry and got himself speared? Dude didnt flinch at all. Grishnákhs just a short little killer like me but it took Treebeard to pop his ass, didnt it?

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So while Dags busy fishing Midget out of a bin a plastic snakes I scrounge me up some Grishnákh teeth and shove them down my snowboot. Grishnákh has a purple face so I scrounge me some face paint too. The purple is a little off. It isnt rotted skin purple. Its brighter. Its got a picture of a girl done up like a Care Bear. But I bet itll do all right. I rip it outta the pack and snowboot it. The final thing I need is a yellow wig but that isnt gonna happen. Even old ass Dick Trickle will notice if theres yellow hair poofing out my boot.

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Dags gonna poop her pants when she sees! Last winter I got shorty to watch the whole award winning saga. Took six weeks to get through cuz Dag kept forgetting to bring her laptop to Robbies and when she did she kept falling asleep. She said she wasnt bored, just confused. What I did was turn on the subtitles for education purposes. That didnt work either! I was elbowing her pretty much constant cuz important plot stuff goes down all the dang time in Lord of the Rings. Things got better once I said it was all right if she painted her nails or texted her mom, but honestly it made me wonder if she was even enjoying Peter Jacksons cinematic masterpiece. But she told me she did and that made me feel tight. No doubt she remembers Grishnákh. No doubt!

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