Let me progress through your other questions speedily. Here we go! Yes, I did get Mr. Cartwright for Home Room, and I see what you mean, but he’s been nice to me so far. No, sigh, I’m not even wearing a training bra. It’s just a padded sports bra, which doesn’t even have letters and numbers. Just Large, Medium, and Small, and Microscopic special made for me, ha ha ha. No, I have not seen “Deadgirl,” “Antichrist,” or “Martyrs,” but I know where you keep your Blu-Rays and I’ll check them out! Yes, Papa still keeps the stock market channel on all day, barfffff. Yes, Mama’s still considering a maid, but I think that’s unlikely since the Clinic is costing so much money.

Lotte, you wrote so many questions! It makes me laugh because when you lived here you never asked questions at all. Therefore I hate to say this, but can I answer the rest later? If I answer them all now, I’ll run out of purple ink, and you know how I love my purple ink.

You may not realize it, but I just got all your letters dumped on me at once. Is this sisterly correspondence or a novel?! That’s six months of letters—and I read them all. Mama collected them in a shoebox (for one of her mile-long high heels of course). Don’t be mad, OK? Mama explained they didn’t want your letters distracting me from schoolwork and extra-curriculars. Now, I admit I did wonder why you weren’t writing and I was getting a little upset. But everything is splendiferous now! Well, you’re still in the Clinic, but besides that, ha ha ha.

I should probably be what Papa calls a “straight shooter” and tell you that Mama and Papa are reading this letter. (Hi Mama and Papa.) That’s OK with me, and I hope it’s OK with you. I for one don’t have any deep dark secrets to share. Unless you count the thrilling news about my sports bra, ha ha ha.

Mama said I can write you for your birthday (June 6) and Christmas. These limits are to help me focus on schoolwork and extra-curriculars. It sounds sad, I know, but I think it’s working. Every time I get down in the dumps about you being all alone in the Clinic, boop! It’s time to go to an extracurricular! I have so many new ones. Let’s see, there’s Coding Club, Junior Robotics, High Voltage Dance Troupe, Future Problem Solvers, Lincoln-Douglas Debate Squad…and that’s just some of them! Anyway, I hope you’ll be home before Christmas so I won’t have to write you a letter ever again, j/k, ha ha ha.