For real, all I meant to do was scare it. But Dags pissed. She starts railing about how you dont throw lethal ninja objects at innocent animals and what was I thinking and am I some kinda sicko. Its too early in the dang day to get yelled at by someone thats not Robbie! So I stand tough and ask if she wants Midget to acquire rabies and have to go get needles in her stomach to get unrabied cuz thats how they do it. Dag looks like shes gonna punch me in the mouth.

* * *

She goes <Thats really why you threw it? Look at me and tell me thats really why you threw it.>

* * *

When a ho starts crowding Jody, thats when a ho needs to get owned! Now dont get me wrong. Girlfriend is right. Girlfriend knows shes right. But that doesnt matter when youre talking about pride.

* * *

So shes hollering in my grill and the itch in my head is getting itchier and the situations about to go to the next level and thats when Midget starts tugging my finger. Dang! Dang! I pull it back real quick. But Midge is just trying to give me back my eight point shuriken she rescued off the pavement. Thats some real sweet generous behavior.

* * *

I wipe my infection finger on my jean jacket and go <Thank you, little bitch> cuz back in the day Moms said you need to positive reinforce a child thats messed up like Midge. Even though Im mad at Dag I look at her and Dags looking at Midge the same way she looked at Gwendolyn. Thats all it takes for my feelings to switch up and that hot itch inside me to quit itching. The three a us are fam. You feel me? You ever had fam? Well then you know just how it goes.

Dearest Lotte,

How are you? I would like to respond to your many queries. Firstly, Morrissey, Johnny, Andy, and Mike the fish are fine! I detect you are distraught about them but please don’t be. They are darting around their spic-and-span fish bowl, happily gobbling the fish food I sprinkle them, and seem happy. Wait, can fish be happy, ha ha ha? In one of your letters, you said the Clinic was a fish bowl for humans. Excellent metaphor, Lotte! If that’s still true, consider adopting the upbeat attitudes of Morrissey, Johnny, Andy, and Mike, ha ha ha.