‘Her thoughts and prayers stuff? She’s got her big break. Well, a break. One of her songs will be on a new TV show. Something on Hulu. From her carry-on, you’d swear she was being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.’

I was clicking on my iPad. And there was Kallie, bursting with excitement. Yes, it was real—a song she’d written and sung would be featured on Season One, Episode Four of Widow Spider, which would air in October on Hulu.

‘Guys.’ Now Kallie was tearful. ‘You don’t know how many times I almost gave up. I’ve made a lot of sacrifices to keep my dream alive. A lot, a lot.’

And you know what, I had to hand it to her. She’d done what she’d needed to do to live her life while continuing to keep faith in herself and her talent.

Okay, trying to swizz Kate out of money was fairly shoddy stuff. And if she was with Luke, I was horribly jealous of her. Despite all of this, I admired her determination.

There was also a strange relief. Although life didn’t tend to dispense consolation prizes, my guilt about sleeping with Luke had been assuaged by Kallie’s good fortune. She deserved a break.

She was still talking away, exhorting us to hold fast to our own dreams. ‘Never, ever, ever give up.’

But not every dream comes true.

Many times it was better to walk away. Often a person was better off letting go of an unachievable goal than wasting their life.

‘Listen to her.’ Claire was so scornful. ‘Like she’s won the Nobel Prize for Taylor Swift Impersonators. Anyway! That was her big news. Not getting married or whatever to Luke.’

But Luke was still moving house. Probably—okay, well possibly—in with Kallie. And I was so worn down from the torment of not-knowing that maybe I didn’t mind any longer?

Was I sensing a change in me, some sort of progress? Perhaps I really was letting go of him? Perhaps being forced to let go?

‘Thanks, Claire, we’ll talk tomorrow.’

‘Oh. Okay.’ She sounded deflated that I hadn’t been more excited.

I expected that there wasn’t a hope of getting back to sleep but when my phone rang again, I was once more fathoms down. Fighting my way to consciousness I was thinking that if this was Claire with some more fecking news about Kallie, I’d—Oh! It wasn’t Claire, it was Helen.

It was thirteen minutes past one—a funny time to be checking in on me.

‘Howya,’ she said. ‘Look. Something’s…I don’t know, but I’m bleeding.’

Horror-struck, I sat up. ‘Where’s Artie?’

‘Geneva. That’s why I’m ringing you.’