BooksBarbecue
Back Again, Rachel
Chapters (98)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. 92
  96. 93
  97. 94
  98. Acknowledgements

The bathroom seemed too obvious, that was probably the first place he’d look. But it seemed safe to slide some pills into the pocket of a coat I no longer wore. In the kitchen, my hand rummaged down low into a bag of basmati rice we hadn’t touched in years and I buried four tablets. So long as Luke didn’t take it upon himself to do a kitchen clearout—and that was wildly unlikely—they’d be safe.

My focus narrowed in on the three photographs hanging on the living-room wall: smiley, happy pictures of Brigit and me on a night out with the Real Men, a thousand years ago. They’d been there for so long that Luke and I no longer saw them.

I took them down and as I was sellotaping tablets to their backs I got a glimpse into how insane this was. Like, it was mad. Shouldn’t I just tell Luke? There was nothing dodgy about taking these pills, they’d been prescribed by a doctor. Well, two doctors actually. Carlotta didn’t know that Dr Gagnon had given me a prescription and Dr Gagnon either didn’t know or wasn’t interested in Carlotta’s script.

But they were prescribed. Admittedly, I was taking more than either doctor had given me, but that was just to get me through this awful time. For all that Luke had freaked out about the initial five Ambien from Carlotta, he was forgetting that I was the least likely person to relapse. I knew so much about myself and so much about addiction that I would make sure it would never happen.

58

I woke up to a series of texts from Claire.

Devin Costello a BIG hit. Luka and him in bromance! Even Francesca stopped being bitchy after a while.

Then:

No effing job, though. Do any of them ever have jobs? Us Gen Xers keep the world turning then they make us feel guilty for buying clothes. Not cool.

Then:

I’m barely Gen X. Almost young enough to be millennial lol. They’re happy enough to take allowance from us though and let us pay for stuff.

Then:

Doesn’t really look like Luke. Would have been weird if he did. He seems mad about Kate. Never liked that Isaac.

Then:

What you up to this evening? Luka and me having mother-son bonding time. Going shopping. Proves my earlier point. Then going for Mexican food. Teenage boys obsessed with tacos.

Well. It was good news for Kate that they liked Devin. That was about as much headspace as I could spare for it. Then I went to work.

At ten past ten, Freya Tollemarche hurried up the steps, her bossy-pants father, Eden, behind her.