BooksBarbecue
Back Again, Rachel
Chapters (98)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. 92
  96. 93
  97. 94
  98. Acknowledgements

‘You, of course.’ His expression was concerned and sincere. ‘But there’s something about her…Sheeeee’s…interesting,’ he mused, his arms behind his head. ‘Mixed messages with old Kallie there. Sweet on the outside, all great fun. On the inside, she’s…harder. Tough. I still don’t know if I trust her.’

‘Why not?’

‘Maybe because she’s a survivor. She’ll always be okay.’ Then, ‘The neck of her implying we were holy. She has the bang of a Christian, doesn’t she? Slightly?’

‘Mmm. Maybe. She’s very positive…’ That made me laugh. ‘There’s nothing wrong with it, if she is. Look at us, pair of bitters, lying here, taking apart their characters.’

‘They’re probably doing the exact same about us.’

Oh no, that hurt.

‘Do you think Luke is one too?’ Quin asked. ‘A church-goer?’

‘We don’t know for a fact that Kallie is. But Luke…When I knew him, he sort of had tendencies. He’s quite…’ I couldn’t find the right word. ‘Moral, I suppose. Not holy, as such. But traditional is probably the best word. Like the way he was about the bill tonight—from his point of view, he had to pay, because it was his gig. Or say he found fifty euro that some poor person had dropped in the back of a taxi? He’d never go, Wahey! Free money! And stick it straight in his pocket. He’d give it to the driver, even though the driver would keep it for himself. There would be no doubt in Luke’s mind, not for a single second.’

‘Wow.’ Quin fake-blinked. ‘That’s just…wow.’

‘Haha, I know. So tell me, am I a survivor, like Kallie?’

Quin’s stare was appraising. ‘You’re more complicated. On paper, because you’re an addict, you’re vulnerable. But if you stay clean, you’re a world-beater.’

‘Who would you rather sleep with? Me or Kallie?’

Long and loud, he groaned. ‘Now I’m thinking about a three-way with both of you.’

‘Well, fucking don’t!’ He drove me mad but he made me laugh.

He strummed an invisible guitar and sang, ‘My boyfriend’s ex-wife is super-super-hot! I faked a burst condom to see just what she’s got.’ Then, ‘You, of course, Rach, always you. I want you more than anyone—that’s not going to change.’

We’d turned out the light and were settling into sleep when, into the darkness Quin suddenly said, in a squeaky voice, ‘Our life is pretty outdoorsy!’ Then in his own voice, ‘Pair of fools.’

38

I woke early, my head full of last night. Playing on my mind was the tender way Luke had called her ‘Kal’. Even more painful was the glimpse Kallie had given into their shared life—thinking about them getting stoned and dancing on the deck cut shards of envy into my gut.