BooksBarbecue
Back Again, Rachel
Chapters (98)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. 92
  96. 93
  97. 94
  98. Acknowledgements

‘So, you were young when you used to find him?’ I said. ‘That must have been very frightening.’

‘’Twas.’ His lip shook.

‘How were you when he died?’

He stared at his knees, fighting to hold off crying. ‘I was heartbroke. But I swore that if I was ever a father, I’d be the opposite to him.’

‘And instead you’ve repeated the behaviour.’

He looked appalled. ‘But I didn’t mean to! Do you think they’ll forgive me? If I promise to be different? ’Tis desperate when people are cross with me.’

‘Learn to live with it,’ I said.

Miserably he twisted. ‘No. I’ll ring them and say sorry. Can I do it now?’

I shook my head. ‘I know this is hard. You’ve so little love for yourself that you crave it from others—and this goes for all of you, by the way—but you need to learn to sit with the discomfort.’

‘I’m breaking it off with Maudie. I can’t believe the neck of the woman, coming in here, acting like she’s something special—’

‘You asked her to marry you,’ Harlie said.

‘Shur, how could I do that when I’m already married?’

‘You tell us. You’re the one who did it.’

‘Ah! ’Twas a moment of madness. Probably…To tell ye the truth, I’ve no memory of proposing. The first I knew of it was Maudie bundling me into the car, one morning, for us to go to Athlone to pick out a ring. I’d asked her the night before, she said. But maybe I didn’t! Maybe she was making it all up! One thing is for sure, Maudie’s for the high jump. What a thing to do to my wife and children!’

‘Fuck you,’ Harlie said. ‘You’re the one who cheated, then tried to wife your side-piece! Maudie did nothing wrong, this is all on you.’

Dennis scrambled to defend himself. ‘The only thing I can be blamed for is taking up with the wrong woman. Next time I won’t pick a mad yoke. Harhar.’

A circle of stony faces stared at him, in silence.

‘Harhar?’ he repeated, a little sweatily.

When, once again, he was met with impassive silence, real fear passed behind his eyes.

43

‘Why does your ex-husband keep inviting you to things?’ Quin asked.

‘Twice. Two things. And, technically, it was Kallie who invited us to the first thing and it’s his dad now. So? You think you’ll come?’

‘No, Rach. That would be mad. Hey! Don’t look at me like that, you know it would. I’m going climbing on Saturday. But even if I wasn’t I still wouldn’t go to my partner’s ex-husband’s dad’s birthday.’

‘Often people are friends with their partner’s exes and their families.’

‘Thing is, you’re not friends with your ex.’