BooksBarbecue
Back Again, Rachel
Chapters (98)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. 92
  96. 93
  97. 94
  98. Acknowledgements

‘A café near my house. It’s beside a little river. A secret only locals know about. I’ll drop you a pin. I can be with you about ten to six, or as close as possible.’

Then I rang Claire. ‘I’m leaving Nola’s now. See you at my house in forty minutes.’

*

‘It wasn’t sexy fun.’ Claire couldn’t meet my eye. ‘It was nothing like a fantasy. Everything was too real. Look, are you able to hear this?’

‘Totally.’ It was easier to join in with Claire’s soul-searching than do my own. ‘Why don’t you hold Crunchie? She’s very comforting.’

‘I’m disappointed in myself.’ Claire ignored my offer of my dog. ‘I thought I was more evolved than this. I was actually jealous. Of Adam…liking…’ She cleared her throat. ‘Liking other people.’

‘But that isn’t…abnormal.’

‘Seeing him with another person…with two other persons—’ She stopped. Then, ‘Okay. I have something to tell you. We were all getting along…grand. Everyone having a good time. Thennnnnn, it sort of became clear that Piet was more into Adam than he was into me. And…Beatriz was more into Adam than she was into me. I don’t exactly know what went on, it just went strange and I was…left out.’ She swallowed convulsively, trying to not cry.

‘But that’s terrible, Claire. That’s not meant to happen, it’s meant to be equal, surely! Or at least with your agreement?’

‘Rachel, I’m mortified. The four of us were supposed to discuss it afterwards, to check that we felt safe and seen and all that blah but I left early. I took the car keys. Adam was still asleep. He arrived home five hours later, in a taxi.’

‘And…how was he about the whole thing?’

‘Adam? Oh, Adam had a great time. Adam wants to do it again.’

It was after eleven when Claire left. I rang Quin, but his phone was switched off and there was no point leaving a message.

It was time to go to sleep but I was afraid of lying in the dark, my messed-up head churning. In a last-ditch attempt to calm myself, I tried a quick fifteen minutes of meditation. Crunchie joined in but it didn’t work for either of us. My upheaval was too huge. And Crunchie? Well, Crunchie, though well intentioned, was only a dog.

75

‘Six weeks ago, I thought ye were all stone mad.’ Wobbling slightly, Trassa was up on a kitchen chair, looking down on a roomful of smiling faces. ‘I’d only come in so my son would pay off my debts. But thanks to Rachel there, and all of ye in my group, I know now that I’m addicted to gambling.’

Amused and scornful, Lowry squinted up at her.