‘Don’t say that! You’re not meant to say that!’ someone replies.

I notice a small box of cards affixed to the girder by my head. I pull one out. It is a message. It says: Things are bad but they will get better. You are valuable. Never forget that x

I wonder who has written it.

But I’ve made my mind up. They are all too late. I take a step back (someone gasps) and then I wheel my arm like a bowler with a cricket ball and launch my phone – far far far into the Thames. Then I crouch in a ball and sob.

‘Are you okay?’ someone shouts.

I raise my head. A trail of snot connects my nose to the concrete floor of the bridge platform. ‘NO, I AM NOT FUCKING OKAY!’

I get back to the house and close the door behind me. I stand in the hall.

‘Jenny?’ says my mother, coming out of the lounge. ‘I thought you were going to get Sonny? You’re back early.’

I don’t reply. I go upstairs and get my laptop out. I stare at the picture some more. Then I go to my emails and email Art.

Why is there a picture of you with Suzy Brambles?

He replies instantly.

Hey. What?

Why is there a picture of you with Suzy Brambles on her Instagram? It’s a simple question.

Who?

SUZY BRAMBLES STOP MAKING ME SAY IT

Oh haha that’s not her real name. I forgot she has that daft pseudonym! Her real name is Suzanne

I breathe. I exhale and I inhale and I exhale again.

Where did you meet her?

She got in touch via Instagram

Wtf

Then we met at her friend’s photography book launch

Are you seeing her?

How do you mean?

I mean are you seeing her shitbird u know what I mean

Okay. I don’t want to argue like this so can we talk this through properly on the phone?

NO WE CANNOT

Trying to call

I am not available right now

I am hyperventilating.

Jenny please talk to me

No. I don’t think we will achieve anything

Okay. But just let me say this. You and I broke up over six months ago

I can feel hair follicles clenching on my back.

It’s not that. She knows me!!!

Suzanne is pretty sure she doesn’t know you, Jenny. You must be mistaken x

What, is she there now?

Art?

Is she there???

I hope you’re not giving her the fucking speech, Art

Which speech?

The ‘my ex is so hurt because I am so powerful’ speech

The ‘my ex is so crazy’ speech

FUCK OFF WITH THOSE SPEECHES, YOU AND EVERY MAN FOREVER

Take care of yourself, Jenny. Get a spa day! X

My spinal fluid boils loose. I am formicating.