I tell him all about Suzy Brambles. He keeps looking around, unable to concentrate, but I can tell he gets the gravity of what has happened. Maybe he’s on that Spice stuff that makes people unable to focus their eyes. I’m glad I can focus my eyes on him when I concentrate because if I couldn’t I would worry that I looked just as fucked. I unscrew the second bottle of wine. People pass, heading into the Tube; some of them hand him money and he says Ta, yeah, nice one. Another homeless man comes and stands nearby; he looks at the man on the ground and then at me. He smiles, I can only presume supportively, as I fill him in on what has happened. ‘I don’t come from anywhere and I’m not going anywhere,’ I conclude. ‘This is the curse of the liberal elite.’ When I’ve finished, I start to cry, and he wanders off. Probably to ponder the deeper meaning of my plight as I’ve just relayed it to him.

As I’m leaving, I give the man on the ground another two pounds. I say, ‘You have a wonderful little set-up here. And a community you can trust. Cherish that.’

He smiles but he doesn’t look as though he really appreciates what I’m saying, the savage.

I stand, swaying with clarity, outside Oxford Circus. I feel saturated with my own fight, like the squid on the menu. I guess that sums me up pretty well as a modern woman: a creature cooked in her own ink.

DRUNK TWITTER

@CissyGreenModel:

As a mother I couldn’t just sit around and watch refugee children die

@jenniferjenniferMcLaine:

@CissyGreenModel as a non-mother I love watching refugee children die. It is one of the great pleasures of my life

@CissyGreenModel:

@jenniferjenniferMcLaine I didn’t mean it like that

@jenniferjenniferMcLaine:

@CissyGreenModel How did you mean it then? Because it sounded as though you were suggesting motherhood generates new levels of compassion & empathy

@jenniferjenniferMcLaine:

@CissyGreenModel which I can assure you is bullshit of the sloppiest order

@jenniferjenniferMcLaine:

@CissyGreenModel CASE IN POINT: Rose West

You have been blocked from viewing @CissyGreenModel’s tweets

DRAFTS

To: Suzy Brambles

Subject: Why?

Dear Suzy Brambles,

Was it because I was leaving too many comments? I know I might have been a little overbearing. Five under one post is perhaps a tad OTT – but the jokes worked better as individual lines, do you ever find that? I admire you greatly – your output and your work. Sometimes I like your pictures so much I can’t bring myself to ‘like’ them because it feels like it almost trivialises the intensity of the emotion, and also – I sort of hate you for making me like something so much. I feel too seen.