Truth be told, she had checked out a long time prior to that. Her funeral was one of the hardest though, because other than Jesse and Marie, I had no one in that front row with me; and they were only present out of support for me. Mum had lost Jesse and Marie’s respect years ago.

Whoever is mapping out my life story needs to give me a break, or just drop the fucking pen, because I’m done. I don’t have anything left to give anymore.

“— that concludes our service. We ask for you to respect the family, as they move to the cemetery for a private burial. Refreshments are in the function room, please help yourselves. The family will join you once they have concluded. Thank you.”

The celebrant’s conclusion of the service pulls me from my thoughts. I blink a few times to focus my eyes and notice Tanner’s hand resting on my knee. Placing my hand on top of his, I squeeze, my gaze meeting his through our dark sunglasses. I can’t see his eyes, but I know they’re laced with concern for me. Time to be strong, Kinsley. The waves of emotion I am feeling today are wild, right now I’m made of stone, a force to be reckoned with. Not an emotion in sight.

Standing, I take note of both Soph and Dad hovering closely behind Tanner. Knowing I have tabs on them, I look for Marie. She was sitting right next to me at the beginning of the service, but I zoned out and now she’s nowhere to be seen. Scanning the rows of people once more, I begin to walk. There are a lot of people here, but none that she would confide in. My mind ticks over, scrolling through the internal list of people who could be here that she would wander off with. Louise. Of course, she was travelling up to stay with her and attend the funeral; it’s been so many years that I had almost forgotten that she existed.

Louise was Jesse’s Aunty, well not technically. You know those best friends you have from childhood, that when you eventually have kids they just call them Aunty? Well, me neither. But she was like that kind of Aunty to Jesse. She was a constant in his life, from the moment he was born, up until she moved away. I think he missed her so much that he named Lou-loo after her. I believe it was around the same time that Dad went missing when she moved away … It had to have been, because I don’t think she never came around whilst I was living there. Focus Kinsley, look for Louise.