The line cuts out. I guess this is it. Lou-loo is sitting at my feet, her big brown eyes watching me; she knows something is going on. I put everything Tanner will need on the kitchen table and switch off the light. It’s now or never.

“You be good for Kinsley and Tanner,” I say, scratching Lou-loo behind the ear.

* * *

The drive out of Melbourne is eerily quiet, I guess that’s what you get at 1am on a weekday. Tanner and I have been planning this for weeks now, watching and learning the daily runnings of Lance and his goons.

Deep down I was hoping to catch a sighting of Warren but I haven’t seen anyone who resembles him in the slightest. Sure, it’s been twelve years, but I would recognise his sharp facial features and honey-coloured eyes, a perfect match to Kinsley’s, anywhere.

My windows are down and the chill of the night air sweeps through the car. The song changes to Papa Roach - Scars and I turn it up, flooding out the constant scenario’s playing over and over in my mind. When Tanner turns up to Kinsley’s apartment in a few hours time, she isn’t going to be happy.

At first she is going to be angry. Angry at Tanner because he is the one who will be standing in front of her giving her the news, then the anger will be turned towards me. I rest my head back, watching the dark road ahead of me, the flashing of trees passing by in my peripheral vision. Her anger will quickly merge into feelings of betrayal, loss and disbelief; feelings I never could have imagined I would be responsible for.

That thought prompts me to think of Kyle and how he must have been feeling. Was he scared? At only thirteen, I can only assume his thoughts consisted mostly of finding a way to somehow rescue his dad and little else.

The song changes again, this time to Dean Lewis - All I Ever Wanted and with a check of my mirrors I indicate, pulling over onto the side of the road. I pick up my phone and set it up to record a video; there is too much that I have left unsaid.

“Hey Meadow.

I know you’re angry right now — fuck. I’m so fucking sorry.”

The speech I had planned turns to mush and I start speaking all the truths I have kept locked away for so many years. I run my fingers through my hair, wanting to grip hold and tear it all out at the thought of leaving her.

“I need you to know that I’m doing this for you; we are doing this for you.

Kyle made a sacrifice, now it’s my turn. I need to go and finish what he started — I need to bring your dad home.