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Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

Vee nods. ‘I know that.’ She thinks of how she smiled at the security guard on their way into the Royal Albert Hall. After what she saw tonight, the insidiousness of it all, she won’t be doing that again.

‘Good.’ Leonie’s grin is back. ‘Anyway. I’m not going to come on to you, baby, you can sleep easy in your bed.’ She gets up, stretches, and kicks the pizza plate under the sofa. There are a few similar plates in the kitchen; Vee wonders if they ever make it back to the restaurant.

‘What are you going to do?’

‘I’m going to write some opinions.’

‘Now? When you’re—’

‘What? Pissed? Horny?’ Leonie’s life may be cluttered but the desk beneath the window is neat. She switches on the anglepoise lamp, puts her hands flat against the desk and leans her weight down on them for a moment, head dropping. ‘Write drunk, edit sober. That’s what Hemingway said. But he was a know-nothing entitled prick so I say write any way you like, edit any way you like.’

She turns, waiting for a response.

‘I say photograph sober, develop sober,’ Vee says. She’s entitled to her work ethic.

Leonie nods. ‘Probably wise,’ and she sits down at her desk.

*

Vee is woken by the smell of frying bacon and the sound of Leonie’s loud, tuneless singing. It’s almost 10 a.m. Whether it was the wine, the thrill, the cold on the streets last night, or the lulling rumble of London traffic, she has slept like a stone. Leonie greets her with a smile, pours tea for her, and puts a plate of bacon sandwiches down on the kitchen table.

‘You were up early,’ Vee says. There are copies of the Telegraph, the Guardian and the Express on the table, along with a paper bag spilling apples and a box of Mr Kipling’s French Fancies. They’ve fast become one of Stanley’s favourites, and Vee feels a sudden ache at the thought of her father, who will be well into his Sunday morning routine now, cleaning out the fireplace and relaying it ready for later.

‘I haven’t been to bed, yet,’ Leonie says, ‘I’ll sleep later.’

Just the thought of working through the night makes Vee want to cry with a sort of empathetic tiredness. Leonie seems fine, though; there are bags under her eyes, and as usual, her hair could do with a wash. The tips of her ears poke through it, which Vee finds endearing. ‘Good writing?’

‘Best column yet,’ Leonie says, biting into a sandwich, ‘that bitch editor from yesterday is going to read it and weep.’