Back The Woman in the Photograph
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

‘I thought about it. But I wasn’t at my best.’

Erica looks from one woman to the other. ‘What are you two talking about? How does your camera work?’

‘Nothing important,’ Leonie says.

At the same time, Vee offers, ‘I can show you, after I’ve taken Leonie’s photograph.’

Erica nods. ‘Are you going to take a picture right now?’

Vee drops to one knee, so her lens can be level with Erica’s face. ‘Yes, I am.’

So Erica – that precious only, that child whose every move is special, who must hardly spend a day unphotographed, judging by the studio portraits on the walls, the clusters of framed family images on shelves and tables – does what she knows to do. She poses. First there’s a grin, wide and fake, and then she turns to Leonie and kisses her on the cheek. Vee thinks she has caught the second before Leonie looks startled/horrified, pulls away. She definitely gets the next, where Leonie wipes her cheek and Erica laughs, and Leonie smiles too, though it’s directed towards Vee, not her daughter: a rueful, ‘what can you do’ smile, an expression Vee has never seen on Leonie before. Click.

‘Erica!’ Ursula’s voice makes them all jump. It’s followed by the tap of her shoes down the stairs, through the house, coming closer.

‘I’m in here, Mamma. They won’t tell me why they were laughing.’

Vee gets to her feet, waiting for Leonie to let go of Erica, and for Erica to run to her mother, whose footsteps are speeding up, the way they would to a forgotten pan left on the hob.

But Leonie pulls Erica closer, tickles her at her waist, and Erica squeals, laughs. ‘Vee and I were laughing because we were tickling,’ Leonie says to Erica in the kind of voice that she obviously imagines women use towards children they love, high-pitched and wheedling, ‘like this!’

Click, click, click. Vee can never resist unexpected movement smudged across a photograph, the way it plays across an image and gives it life and light.

Erica gets a hand free, and tickles Leonie at her neck. Leonie moves her head to the side and takes Erica’s fingers in her mouth, a play-snarl. She looks as though she is actually enjoying herself; Erica’s whole body shouts out its laughter, its unexpected pleasure from an aunt she obviously doesn’t know that well. Her legs are flailing and her baby-toothed mouth is wide, her eyes bright, a hairclip working loose. And then Leonie puts her hand on Erica’s face, cups it, and the two look into each other’s eyes with – with what? Vee can’t identify it; it’s more complicated than love, both more and less than affection. She can’t identify it, but she can capture it. Click.