Back The Woman in the Photograph
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for the previous work of
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 24 April 2018
  6. Part 1: Subject
  7. 15 June 1968
  8. 20 June 1968
  9. July 1968
  10. 2 February 2018
  11. Part 2: Light
  12. 20 November 1970
  13. 20 November 1970
  14. 21 November 1970
  15. November 1970
  16. 19 February 2018
  17. Part 3: Focus
  18. 15 April 1977
  19. 18 April 1977
  20. 15 May 1977
  21. July 1977
  22. 26 February 2018
  23. 8 March 2018
  24. 8 March 2018
  25. Part 4: Distance
  26. 15 May 1979
  27. 15 May 1979
  28. 16 May 1979
  29. June 1979
  30. 29 March 2018
  31. 29 March 2018
  32. 27 March 2018
  33. Part 5: Movement
  34. 18 October 1981
  35. 10 April 2018
  36. 18 October 1981
  37. 10 April 2018
  38. 18 October 1981
  39. 10 April 2018
  40. 18 October 1981
  41. 10 April 2018
  42. 10 April 2018
  43. 18 October 1981
  44. 10 April 2018
  45. October 1981
  46. Part 6: Exposure
  47. July 1984
  48. 5 September 1984
  49. 24 April 2018
  50. 25 April 2018
  51. Part 7: Developing
  52. 26 April 2018
  53. Vee, in the lost place, 1984
  54. 26 April 2018
  55. Epilogue
  56. 5 February 2019
  57. Author’s Note
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Letter from Author
  60. Stephanie Butland’s Readers’ Club
  61. For your Reading Group
  62. For discussion
  63. Select bibliography
  64. About the author
  65. Also by Stephanie Butland

‘I did.’ Vee only got around to it recently, and it made her laugh.

Oh. OH.

Erica Jong.

Zipless fuck.

‘How old are you, Erica?’ Leonie asks. Erica holds up a hand, fingers spread, thumb against palm, ‘I’m four. I’ll be five on the seventeenth of November.’

Leonie tilts an eyebrow at Vee, nods. ‘There you go. Straight from the horse’s mouth.’

Vee scrabbles back through her memory, to the conversations she had with Leonie at Greenham Common. ‘So, Ursula? Why didn’t you say?’

‘I did say.’

‘I’d have remembered.’ Erica is watching them, gaze tick-tocking from face to face. Leonie is waiting, watching Vee too. It’s uncanny, the two of them. ‘I asked and you told me to fuck off.’

‘Don’t swear in front of my niece,’ Leonie says, with a not-quite-smile, and Vee glances towards the child, who is standing there with three shocked rounds where her eyes and mouth were a moment ago.

Do you apologise to a child? Vee doesn’t remember anyone ever apologising to her, except to say they were sorry her mother had died.

‘And then I said?’ Leonie asks.

‘You said a sister helped you out.’

‘I said my sister helped me out.’

‘Oh.’ Vee looks at Erica, her fists on her hips, now, her shock at Vee’s swearing dissipated and her original curiosity, apparently, returned.

‘What were you laughing about?’ the child asks. ‘I could hear you from upstairs. You disturbed me when I was playing.’ And Vee can’t help it, but she starts laughing again, because Erica looks so outraged. And because her mind is trying to absorb this apparent living, breathing truth, in front of her: Ursula helped her sister out, by taking her baby. And Leonie helped her sister out. Ursula must have wanted a baby.

‘So, Ursula is your sister’s—’ how to phrase the question, ‘only child?’

‘Yes.’ Leonie nods. ‘There were problems, so—’

‘What problems?’ Erica asks.

‘The adults are talking,’ Leonie says. The sharpness in her tone would have most children running for cover, but Erica, it seems, really is her mother’s daughter.

‘Yes,’ she says, feet unmoving, hands on hips, ‘but you’re talking about me.’

Then, the most unexpected thing from Leonie, who holds out her arms in awkward invitation. There’s a second when birth-mother and birth-daughter are eye to eye, but Vee isn’t quite quick enough with her camera to catch it. Erica goes across to Leonie, and rather than climbing into her lap, turns and waits to be lifted. Leonie puts her hands under Erica’s armpits and hauls; Vee takes a photograph then. It’s not going to be a good shot – she really just does it to see if Leonie objects. Leonie doesn’t. Over Erica’s head, Leonie says, ‘I should have thought about putting a clause in the agreement. About pink. And all that goes with it.’

Click. ‘I’m surprised you didn’t.’